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Post by FlowerLady on Dec 3, 2005 19:01:30 GMT -5
OK, what is the deal with Sena's mother-in-law? I realize that she has always wanted Yunsu to marry her son, but now that he has gotten married to someone else, isn't it time for her to let go of the past and make an effort to accept Sena (if not only for her son's sake?) It only creates awkwardness and hurt feelings because his mother is so insensitive about letting go of Yunsu. It is very hurtful that "mother-in-law" so obviously snubs Senu, especially because Sena is so sweet and is genuinely trying to get along with everyone. She was so understanding and a good sport, even when M-I-L indicated that she wanted Yunsu to have her diamond ring, instead of Sena.....right in front of her!!!
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Post by donilpark on Dec 4, 2005 0:47:15 GMT -5
I was surprised. I didn't think she was such a thoughtless person. I know the writer intentionally did it just so that the characters of Sena and Yunsu can be contrasted through the two rings, one fancy and the other simple, but she should've chosen some other way. The mother in law is certainly a cultured person, and I didn't quite understand how she can give that ring to Yunsu. And also how Yunsu had a nerve to ask for it. But then, it just goes to show that she is still attached to Seungwoo...
And one correction, she didn't want her son to marry Yunsu.
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Post by Alexa on Dec 4, 2005 12:35:33 GMT -5
And one correction, she didn't want her son to marry Yunsu. Really? I thought she did. I remember her saying something like "I always thought you and Seungu would end up together." And since she loves her as a daughter, I was getting the feeling that she would've loved to have Yunsu as a daughter in law. anyways I don't think Seungu's mom is that bad (unlike the MIL from MSMD). I don't think she would've exactly chosen Sena for her son, but she does admit that Sena is trying and that she's nice. I thought it was sweet of her to tell her son that Sena is the most important person in his life, and that he needs to be at her side always.
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Post by FlowerLady on Dec 4, 2005 20:16:34 GMT -5
And one correction, she didn't want her son to marry Yunsu. --To me, I felt there were several times that Seungu's mother gave some indications that Yunsu was the girl she would have wanted her son to marry. Mother-in-law is so comfortable and welcoming with Yunsu, but is stand-offish and cold to Sena when they are all together. Was there a scene that indicated that M-I-L actually didn't want her son to marry Yunsu originally? Maybe I missed something? (If I did miss that scene, sorry.)
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Post by Lucy on Dec 5, 2005 12:03:10 GMT -5
I dislike Seungu's mother. I think she is unnecessarily rude and uppity. What was with her reaction just walking into Sena's and Seungu's apartment and looking down her nose at the in-laws because they were relaxing and drinking? She made everyone feel very uncomfortable. She is not a gracious person at all. I know she's not supposed to be a "bad guy" the way Screech Mom from "My Sweetheart" is, but a woman her age should know how to be kind and generous, especially to her little DIL, who loves her son so much, even though she might not be what the MIL wanted.
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Post by donilpark on Dec 5, 2005 18:19:57 GMT -5
She definitely didn't mean that. Because she is a nice person. It's just that she is more disciplined and serious that Sena's family are not comfortable with it, but she doesn't try and make it uncomfortable for them. Like the saying goes, a guilty conscience needs no accuser, and that's exactly what Sena's family feels like. They are rich, but they know themselves not to be classy people. I think that's why they were like that in that scene, rather than because of the mother in law. After all, it's not the right manner to be drinking and having fun when the in-laws visit you in Korea. I mean, yes, she dropped in unnoticed, but it is somewhat peculiar for the parents of a married daughter to go to her house while her husband is not there and have fun. At least from Koreans' point of view.
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Post by ginnycat5 on Dec 5, 2005 18:55:15 GMT -5
. After all, it's not the right manner to be drinking and having fun when the in-laws visit you in Korea. I mean, yes, she dropped in unnoticed, but it is somewhat peculiar for the parents of a married daughter to go to her house while her husband is not there and have fun. At least from Koreans' point of view. Is it ok for the daughter to go to her parents' house without her husband and have a drink? (They -did- have a lot of empty cans on the table, but I didn't see Sena drinking.) If they had been drinking tea, would it be more acceptable?
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Post by donilpark on Dec 5, 2005 22:00:02 GMT -5
That would be a bit better, I'd guess.
Again, perhaps. But the point here is not that they were drinking. It's more like the way the parents were there. Like, when a woman gets married, they say she is a chulgawaein, which means one who has left home and has become an outsider. So customarily, women are not supposed to go back to their home nor should the parents come to the daughter's house. (in general. doesn't literally mean that they can't see each other forever) So it is a bit not right for the parents to come to the daughter's house, especially when husband is not there. (I think that's same everywhere, although it may be for a different reason. You wouldn't want your parents or your spouse's parents coming over all the time after you are married) Of course, with women's rights significantly improved, and given that Seungwoo and Sena don't live with the mother in law, they are a bit more free. Once in a while may be ok, but since Sena lives so close to her parents, it might have been seen as if they come every day. Sena's parents would have a 'guilty conscience' as in that they raised a spoiled daughter who has to be with her parents and who doesn't know how to take care of herself and her husband. So that scene was really an awkward situation for both parties.
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Post by Lucy on Dec 6, 2005 10:49:14 GMT -5
Interesting. Well, I guess I misunderstood what was happening in that scene. I did get the feeling, though, that Sena's parents were embarrassed because they'd been caught drinking and behaving that way, which is sort of another way of looking at the same thing you mentioned, donilpark--that they were doing something unusual and, as we would say, unseemly. I think, as an American, that I was expecting that a "nice" lady like Seungu's mom would have made an effort to make them feel better about having been seen in that situation, but I had to be reminded that "nice" behavior is culturally relative and that that wasn't what someone like Seungu's mom would be expected to do in Korea. About the DIL visiting her parents' house, I remember on "My Precious Child" that Hee-soo didn't go to her parents' house for a very long time after marrying Jin-kook. She waited for permission from Golfing Dad and Evil Stepmom, and they didn't tell her to go there for quite a while, if I remember correctly.
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Post by ginnycat5 on Dec 6, 2005 11:40:46 GMT -5
Thanks for the explanation, Donilpark. There are probably many things I miss thru ignorance. I had forgotten about Hee-soo, Lucy. At the time, I was shocked at the extent of control the in-laws had over her.
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Post by FlowerLady on Dec 7, 2005 16:54:33 GMT -5
** I think this was actually only the first time that Sena's parents had come over since the wedding. That's why her father was saying he was hurt that they now spend so little time with the newlyweds. Anyway, donilpark, kamsa hamnida, for the insight/explanation from your point of view. For me, it is something to think about, especially because I am just starting to learn about Korean cultural styles. Differing points of view are what makes this board interesting and informative, too. Joun haru deseyo.
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Post by donilpark on Dec 7, 2005 17:41:31 GMT -5
True, that was the first time. But they were afraid that the MIL will misunderstand and think otherwise. At the same time, they know that what they got caught doing is not something that's encouraged to do. The MIL knows that they know this too. Kinda like when you see your friend stand up to speak in class but forgets what he was about to say and stutters. Then you would feel embarrased for him. Or, I don't know, say, you're gossiping about a friend at a party, but a friend of that friend was overhearing you and you find that out. Then both you and that friend of friend would find yourselves in an awkward situation. I think the same kind of thing happened with the MIL. She just came unnoticed (that's not exactly good manners either, although she can sort of do that because she is the mother of a son, rather than a daughter) and found something that she knows she's not supposed to see. (not that it was a serious crime or anything.) She would not have known what to say either.
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Post by FlowerLady on Dec 8, 2005 22:43:19 GMT -5
Thank you again, donilpark, for your insight into Sengeu's mother. I am starting to understand her character a little better now. Also, I watched Episode #9 and you were right, she said she is happy that her son married Sena. And now, after Ep. 10, we see that M-I-L is very ill. Maybe that is another reason she has been acting so glum.
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Post by ginnycat5 on Dec 9, 2005 16:10:07 GMT -5
It's so unfair of her to ask Yun-su to keep her illness a secret from her son. Her son will not thank her later, and it's a burden on Yun-su to carry alone. Sena would probably like the opportunity to help her, too, since she's such a tender-hearted person.
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Post by FlowerLady on Dec 10, 2005 0:35:54 GMT -5
It's so unfair of her to ask Yun-su to keep her illness a secret from her son. Her son will not thank her later, and it's a burden on Yun-su to carry alone. Sena would probably like the opportunity to help her, too, since she's such a tender-hearted person. --- So true. A very sick family member definitely needs a great deal of emotional support and care from closest family members and friends. M-I-L's son is an only child and has every right to know that his mother is so ill. ---BTW, maybe she doesn't want to worry or burden the newlyweds, but illness is a part of life and families still need to bond together during the tough times.
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