Interesting: MJ brings up our arguments

[petirrojo]

I thought it was very interesting that MJ called SM selfish last night, and if his concern was that JM not be illegitimate any longer, well he got his wish when YJ 'claimed' him. With her lack of interest in kow-towing to her elders and this 'hang the law' attitude, it appears that she has the most Western attitude of all the characters.

And, while divorce seems like a controlling witch-kind of thing to do, I can't say as I blame her, knowing that she felt keenly the shame of having a father who had a child as the result of an affair too, compounded by knowing that her stepmother was not a willing participant in her seduction.

[JadeEyes]

Why do you say Kyung-oe (MJ's stepmother) was not "a willing participant in her seduction"? KO admitted to Sun-joo that she never loved SJ's father and that she only married him because she was pregnant. But she never said anything about the old man forcing himself on her. Getting pregnant by someone you don't love is a far cry from being seduced against your will.

All of MJ's actions to me are colored by how self-serving they are. There's really nothing noble here. If she was really offended by SM's actions because he was exploiting an outmoded system that discriminates against women and robs women of their right to have their family name preserved, etc. that would be one thing. She probably does agree the laws are wrong, discriminatory and in need of change. But her only real objection here is that she hates the idea of Ja-young (and Ji-min) being anywhere in her life -- or SM's life. She can't stand for him to acknowledge the child he had w/ JY. She wants him only to recognize Yuna, the child they adopted together, as his child. She can't bear the reminder that he was once intimate w/ a woman other than herself.

The divorce thing seems way over the top, to me...but totally in keeping with something MJ would do. She was ready to divorce SM once before over pictures of him having physical contact with JY, which was not kissing or them in bed together or anything along those lines. A mature person really committed to marriage, and especially where children are involved, would not toss a marriage out so quickly and w/ this level of provocation. SM refuses to be controlled by MJ, this one time in their 5 years together, and is going against her wishes. That's not reason enough to end a marriage, IMO. I think all efforts should be made to see if anything can be salvaged---especially when there is a child who will be left in a divided family. Counseling would be in order.

Instead, MJ is like a spoiled child; SM one time refuses to do what she says and resists her control and she's ready to kick him to the curb. SM is wrong in what he's doing---but it's not justification for divorce, IMO...not w/o trying to work things out.

Jade

[humble]

I some what agree with you. She does want control. But why should she just divorce him over that. She should just live it. If she really loved her husband she would stand by him by anymeans. What about her child? Min-joo is selfish I think. But I really like her. I am with her on this. I think sang-min should just let young-joon adopt Ji-min. Because sangmin even said he would just give him his name and not be a real father. Kids dont need names they need a real father. I tnink young-joon will make a good father. Better then sang-min. Just my opion

[jenny]

Jade Eyes wrote:

Why do you say Kyung-oe (MJ's stepmother) was not "a willing participant in her seduction"? KO admitted to Sun-joo that she never loved SJ's father and that she only married him because she was pregnant. But she never said anything about the old man forcing himself on her. Getting pregnant by someone you don't love is a far cry from being seduced against your will.

MJ's step mom said, very early in the series, that she couldn't refuse her husband's advances because he was her boss. Lame excuse, but she does seem pretty weak.

[JadeEyes]

Oh Jenny! I hadn't heard that part....eeewww! How awful!

That's really disgusting. I guess he did force himself on her.

Jade

[MJ]

It was interesting to read so many different views about Min Joo. I have noticed that most posters here don't seem to like her.

All of MJ's actions to me are colored by how self-serving they are. There's really nothing noble here. If she was really offended by SM's actions because he was exploiting an outmoded system that discriminates against women and robs women of their right to have their family name preserved, etc. that would be one thing. She probably does agree the laws are wrong, discriminatory and in need of change. But her only real objection here is that she hates the idea of Ja-young (and Ji-min) being anywhere in her life -- or SM's life. She can't stand for him to acknowledge the child he had w/ JY. She wants him only to recognize Yuna, the child they adopted together, as his child. She can't bear the reminder that he was once intimate w/ a woman other than herself.

I don't think it is just that she hates the idea of JY being anywhere in her life or SM's life and that she can't bear the reminder that he was once intimate with JY. There are other reasons. If you look at things from Min Joo's perspective, why should she surrender to SM and let him put Ji Min on the family registry? She has absolutely nothing to gain from it. In fact, it will only serve as a constant reminder that she can't produce a biological child or heir for the Lee family, specifically a son. It's a very painful thing for her not to be able to have a baby, let alone having her husband's ex's son on the all-important family registry -- it would only remind her what a failure she has been as a Korean wife.

I agree Min Joo likes to be in control. Since her father's death, she has been the head of the family as well as a big company. However, there is another reason why she doesn't want Ji Min on the registry. She has said it before that she didn't want Yuna to get confused. Imagine having a half-brother whom you never know (living like strangers) with a different mother and raised by a different set of parents. It can't be the best thing for Yuna. Min Joo thinks SM wants to register Ji Min on the family registry because he yearns for a son. She is also upset that when they agreed to adopt Yuna 5 years ago, he specifically said he didn't need a son and a daughter would be better. She probably feels now that SM has not been honest with her.

The divorce thing seems way over the top, to me...but totally in keeping with something MJ would do. She was ready to divorce SM once before over pictures of him having physical contact with JY, which was not kissing or them in bed together or anything along those lines. A mature person really committed to marriage, and especially where children are involved, would not toss a marriage out so quickly and w/ this level of provocation. SM refuses to be controlled by MJ, this one time in their 5 years together, and is going against her wishes. That's not reason enough to end a marriage, IMO. I think all efforts should be made to see if anything can be salvaged---especially when there is a child who will be left in a divided family. Counseling would be in order.

I agree she tosses out the divorce word a little too often and too quickly, and I think she should try to work things out with SM, at least for the sake of Yuna.

I was going to say that I don't think the first time she threatened divorce was just "over pictures of him having physical contact with JY, which was not kissing or them in bed together or anything along those lines".
The pictures were just the breaking point. But things started to become really bad between them even before that. She felt betrayed by both her husband and the woman whom she treated like a close friend and a confidante (Ja Young) because she had no close girlfriend after she came back from the US. She confided in JY about her problems, not realizing all this time she was SM's ex. SM was wrong for not telling Min Joo in the first place, when he had the chance, who JY really was. Everyone including Young Joon and Granny Sohn knew the truth except MJ. Imagine the shock and betrayal, being the last person to know, especially when it concerns your own spouse and your girlfriend/confidante. In fact, SM has lied to her on many occasions. He said he didn't know JY well. He could have told her who JY and Tae Young were when Sun Joo was forbidden from seeing TY. Min Joo had no idea what the real reason was for SM to be so against Sun Joo from seeing Tae Young.

Hope I didn't offend anyone with my comments since I am relatively new here.

[Avalon]

The bottomline is that MJ will reap what she sowed. She will be left with a child who pines after her father and be constantly reminded of her action that brought about so much pain to everyone including herself.

[CURIOUS DEB]

petirrojo said:

I thought it was very interesting that MJ called SM selfish last night, and if his concern was that JM not be illegitimate any longer, well he got his wish when YJ 'claimed' him. With her lack of interest in kow-towing to her elders and this 'hang the law' attitude, it appears that she has the most Western attitude of all the characters.

And, while divorce seems like a controlling witch-kind of thing to do, I can't say as I blame her, knowing that she felt keenly the shame of having a father who had a child as the result of an affair too, compounded by knowing that her stepmother was not a willing participant in her seduction.

[INDEBWETRUST]

PLEASE DISREGARD CURIOUS DEB--IT DIDN'T COME OUT RIGHT AND I FOUND LATER IN THE THREAD THE ANWER TO MY QUESTION

HOW EVER I MISSED MY FRIDAT EP LEADING INTO YJ TELLING JY THAT HE CLAIMED JI MIN-- WILL SOME ONE PLEASE FILL ME IN-- I WILL BE ABLE TO SEE MON EP BUT I JUST WANT A GOOF REFERENCE

YOU CAN SEND SYNOPSIS TO [e-mail]

THANK YOU I REALLY APPRECIATE IT


OH YEAH I READ ONE OF THE POSTS, THE SHOW WILL BE ENDING SOON--WHAT-- THIS IS THE BEST SOAP OPERA I HAVE EVER SEEN-WAY BETTER THAN GUIDING LIGHT, HOSPITAL ETC... THEY CAN'T END IT IT IS TOO GOOD.