If I were Min-jae...(eps. 144)

[jacques]

c said:

hey guys all ur statements r correct but ultimatly this
kind of falls in yu-jin's lap. she's the one who begged min-jae to marry her all the while claiming she could handle whatever was thrown at her. she also was full aware that min-jae wasn't in love with her the same way she is with him. she should've thought very carefully with her head( not her heart) about wanting to try to live her life to 'fix' min-jae's. changing him completely doesn't make everything 'go away'. she thinks she fell in love with him for who he is but she partially felt sorry for him b/c of the situation he grew up in.

Yeah, the lady underestimated the challenge she set herself up to. Poor Yu-jin! Rule #1 in any relationship: U canNOT change the other person, nor the situation dey r in for that matter. Only THAT person has both will and power to do it himself, in this case, Min-jae (whose facial expressions of late remind me of Noah Wyle in ER). Yu-jin looks like she's beginning to succumb to all the pressure, her lower lip quivers so.

[c]

jacques said:

Yeah, the lady underestimated the challenge she set herself up to. Poor Yu-jin! Rule #1 in any relationship: U canNOT change the other person, nor the situation dey r in for that matter. Only THAT person has both will and power to do it himself, in this case, Min-jae (whose facial expressions of late remind me of Noah Wyle in ER). Yu-jin looks like she's beginning to succumb to all the pressure, her lower lip quivers so.

so, so true jacques. everyone seems to
be forgetting that lately.they want to 'blame' everyone but the 'right' one for her own actions. i feel sorry
for yu-jin 2 but she made her own bed. so right
about the noah wyle look 2 (i just love him on
ER). i think both r headed of nervous breakdowns.

[WinterBallad]

I agree 100% with you "c". YuJin didn't realize what she was really getting into. MinJae laid all his cards on the table and she accepted willingly. No one twisted her arms to marry him. You can't change a person, but you can allow him the space to change himself.

Then after their marriage she asks MJ to move into the home he so desperately wanted to stay away from, so she could get grandma to like her. I guess it back fired. How could she believe that MG will like her when MG despises the man she married.

I'm sorry, I have no sympathy for YJ. Not where MJ is concerned. After 20+ years of being blamed for everything, he's developing a closer relationship with HK and is trying very hard to be the big brother that he always wanted to be. But EA still has her claws in that family and will continue to blame MJ for everything, including YJ's situation. Making him the bad person once again. Ever since she started butting in with the HK/HR relationship, I loss all respect for her. Especially since she had doubts about MJ's feelings for her. Whether he shows it or not.

Sorry, that's just my opinion.

[redstone911]

jacques said:

It seemed like a good idea at the time, but like some good ideas, we know how THAT one turned out!

Nah, I didn't think that was a good idea to begin with...looking back at that episode, I recall thinking what a crazy idea it was! Knowing Grandma Han's personality, how could any of them, Min-jae, Yu-jin, and especially Hyun-kyu possibly believe that she would grow to accept Min-jae just because he married Yu-jin...It didn't make any sense to me...because if anything, Grandma was upset that it wasn't Hyun-kyu that married Yu-jin in the first place! That was what she originally wanted, and she angrily accused Min-jae of always blocking Hyun-kyu's path to success!

[Oma]

Alas... I tried to register again to no avail... Someday I will actually recieve that email and become a member!

Anyway, didn't know where to put this, and was actually a bit surprised there was not a thread for this.
In the reactions to Yu-jin's miscarriage I think you get a huge helping of the cultural difference that I love to see in OMR. It's one of the things that keeps me fascinated with the show. I gave up on American soaps in high school, and now I'm an old married lady (and Oma of course.)

Min-jae, shocked and upset, but keeping his distance as if it's not his place to meddle in a "womens' health" issue.

Soon-young, devastated, but say's it was the baby's karma.

Mal-bong, asking what shocked her into miscarrying.

Then you have this overall blame thing. Everyone blames themselves, and Yu-jin. She wasn't taking care of herself. She wasn't eating well. I should have made her rest more. I should've made her take time off work. (Yu-kyung, Mal-bong, Soon-young) And of course, Granny saying, "they'll blame me."

The truth as I understand it is this. Something like 10% of pregnancies end in 1st trimester miscarriages. It's not because anything was done wrong. It's generally because the pregnancy is not progressing normally. Like, the baby stops growing, isn't growing, or has genetic abnormalities, and is incapable of surviving. I don't have any kind of medical background, but thought this was fairly common knowledge, at least to a lot of women. Miscarriages happen. No one is to blame. And Koreans have a reputation for being smart educated people. (Their children have the highest math & science test scores worldwide!) So it's a purely cultural thing.

Also, if I hadn't stumbled upon the spoiler, I still wouldn't have been surprised. When Mal-bong dragged her to the doctor, she told her she hadn't even been late. That must qualify as abnormal bleeding.

[jacques]

Hi Oma. Sorry to hear about your registration problems. Here's the link for the thread on the general board where people having problems registering/not receiving passwords can post a message for Soju the administrator to help you out. Hope this helps.

deiner.proboards18.com/index.cgi?board=generalmsgs&action=display&thread=1085328323

[toranaga]

I think YJ real problem is she is getting no show of affection or support from the cold fish "oops" I meant min-jae,he has yet to show any kind of undestanding
or sympathy for his lovely wife in any crisis sitiuation.
hell when her mother came to pick her at the hospital
and told them that she was going to take yujin home with her, he didn't even protest that,she was standing there looking for him to make some sort of statement
or show her some form of demonstration that he actually loves her,but he never ever doeshe just let mal.
bong take her without a word.If you ask me yujin has a
greater understanding of what marriage is really about,
the cold fish has a lot to learn.

[babbi]

"If you ask me yujin has a
greater understanding of what marriage is really about,
the cold fish has a lot to learn."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
We'll see how fast he learns when the "D" word is uttered. Last night closed with YJ telling him she's giving up on him. He had that same deer in the headlights look he had in the hospital. I guess it's true what they say. "Looks aren't everything"

[Oma]

thanks for the link, jacques... we'll see what happens now

[Soju]

Oma -

I have E-mailed you about this. Look for it in your mail box.

[Elbs]

I've never heard it used to address a teacher, but then again, i've never attended school in Korea... I'm curious too.

[luckychang]

dont forget minjae is probably mental by being treated as third favorite of 2 sons. his mom took care of hyung kyu as if he was number one son. then the granny stuff and EA as an adult, some kind of sub concious mistrust or coldness or vast lack of self confidence makes him distant and probably not trusting of women. I cant beleive they all go thru this honorifics stuff all the time ...i mean if i were korean and EA started all this stuff with me or a friend of mine id be paying a personal visit and set her straight in a heart beat. may be thats just me being italian but id be like look hun your time has come to go or keep to your own business lady or this is my sister now how would you like your beating...i mean she is evil

[jacques]

luckychang said:

I cant beleive they all go thru this honorifics stuff all the time ...i mean if i were korean and EA started all this stuff with me or a friend of mine id be paying a personal visit and set her straight in a heart beat. may be thats just me being italian but id be like look hun your time has come to go or keep to your own business lady or this is my sister now how would you like your beating...i mean she is evil

I know what you mean, luckychang! Whenever I see the EA character, my blood just boils and the different cultural strains in me join forces in preparation for an attack. My Latin side, in particular, can't wait to drag this miserable creature into the bullfight ring (what my Portuguese and French ancestors call the corrida, just like the Spaniards ) and have it out with her!

It's like--Lady, get out of people's business already, ok?! And she had the nerve to visit Yu-jin at her home, following her release from hospital. Too bad Yu-jin was in a weakened state, otherwise I'm sure she would have wanted to give her a good slap!

[Elbs]

Elbs said:

I've never heard it used to address a teacher, but then again, i've never attended school in Korea... I'm curious too.

oops, i posted this in the wrong discussions. i meant for it to be a reply to jacque's "ju-in" question.

[Oma]

I got an email from Bo, but never got yours.