Can anyone relate to JY anymore?

[yobo]

Can anyone believe what she's saying any
more? Does she believe what she's saying?
She tells Min-joo that she's not being selfish to deny Young-joon's affections, yet she's hurting him and herself, and maybe most importantly, denying Ji-min the love that YJ wants so much to give as the father. How can JY be getting strength from his presence in Seoul when all he does is get in her way constantly? He's right that she should be glad to get him out of her hair for good. But if YJ really wants to forget her and start over, he should have just left without all the explanations and farewells. He apparently wanted her to know all about it so he could make it even harder on her to keep saying no to his desires. But of course, it wouldn't have been as dramatic if he'd just left without a word, either.

[JadeEyes]

I couldn't believe JY as she rambled on drunkenly and in tears about how YJ must never have cared that much for her or he wouldn't be going to Bangladesh!! All that hanging around MJ every time she calls and demands a meeting must be infecting her with Alotta Nerve!

Now her story is she's getting "strength" from knowing that YJ is living in the same city with her? Even though she's strictly forbid him from seeing her, talking to her or doing anything for her? And he's supposed to stay in Seoul, where he's totally miserable, for this?? After the pain she's inflicted on him for the only reason I can see that she's got some insane idea she can't go against his silly old grandmother, she thinks he owes her staying in a town where everything reminds him of her and it's wrecking his life? Because it gives her "strength" to go on with her life knowing he breathes the air in the same city as she??

Going to Bangladesh may save YJ's life. The rate he's going, he's going to drink himself through his current liver in a year or so. All he does is lose concentration at work by staring constantly at the pen she gave him, go out and stock her, leading to tearful and heart-wrenching encounters between them, go out and get drunk and come home to fight with his nagging grandma. Some life! I'd take deprivation and poverty any day over that! At least I doubt there's many bars in Bangladesh, and he'll be too far away to jump in his SUV and track down JY every time the urge becomes overwhelming.

I couldn't believe her nerve yesterday saying those things to him. I was pretty angry with her, but my husband said you can't hold anyone who's drunk accountable for what they say.

Jade

[Cadie]

I can't believe what JY is doing to this poor man. What is he suppose to do? She keeps telling him to move on and even refuses his friendship. Now that he has made up his mind to do just that, she complains?

JY seemed more bothered by the fact that YJ said he was ready to start a life without her than the idea of him leaving Seoul. I think JY doesn't know what she wants and now that the end of their relationship has finally dawned on her, she can't bear it.

[galacticchick]

JadeEyes said:

I was pretty angry with her, but my husband said you can't hold anyone who's drunk accountable for what they say.
Jade

I bet this is why men always complain that they can't understand women.

Ha! My friend says drunks and kids never lie!

[petirrojo]

When Ja-Young was lambasting poor Young-joon last night ("It's not enough for you that I'm in Seoul?"), I just thought that I'd taken a giant step backwards in trying to figure out the aspects of the culture (romanticized or not) where dialogue like that would make any kind of sense at all!

Who the heck is she to accuse him of not caring enough for her? Her friend has the right of it: think about how YJ trod the streets of Chuncheon looking for JY, rescued her from giving birth in the streets, and is willing to make any kind of life with her that she's willing to let him and STILL she pushes him away?

I can only shake my head and wonder where things are going!

[yobo]

To quote JadeEyes, "I'd take deprivation & poverty any day over that" (what JY puts YJ through). My thoughts exactly! Maybe what YJ is thinking is that when the poor and deprived see someone even more dejected and hopeless than they are, they'll learn to count their blessings! (Which reminds me, as an aside, do they really have Thanksgiving in Korea, or is that just a reference to a K-holiday around that time, for us Americans? I always thought T-day was as American as apple pie.)
Anyway the only comfort I'm taking from all this is that JY is surrounded with friends who think just as we do. So they might be able to do the work on her obstinate brain that we wish we could do.

[petirrojo]

It's tied into harvest time (fall), as it is here, and all I know for sure is that is a time (according to a Hyundai salesman I met) that Korean's make car purchases.

Not much help, I know ;-)

[yobo]

Thanks, "red robin", for the info. Every little bit helps wfhen we're all so ignorant of Korean culture, despite our efforts. It's kind of amazing that of all our members, none of us are from Korea or even in close touch with someone who is. Seems to be that way at least!

[galacticchick]

Something I've been mulling over and that I finally decided to share is that although it sounds incredibly selfish for her to say those things, doesn't it make her that much "real"?

Sure we would like for our favorite heroine to be immaculate and perfect, but doesn't this flaw in her way of being make her seem more credible as a human being. It is for me at least. Nobody is entirely selfless, I think. Besides, that's a good intro to the 4 year flash forward and is a good explanation why Young-joon would stay.

[galacticchick]

I forgot to add my comment about the whole deal with Thanksgiving. Isn't it also when they pay tribute to their ancestors and go visit their burials?

I may be confusing these traditions though. But if anyone saw the drama "Who's My Love?" I believe it was on Thanksgiving day that the Kim men go visit their mother's burial place.

I found this webpage which explains i pretty good detail about Ch'usok (Korean thanksgiving). Sorry I have no idea how to link something on a forum. My suggestion is copy and paste it onto your address bar.
www.internet-at-work.com/hos_mcgrane/holidays/2_yoo_min.html

[yobo]

Wow that's pretty good GC , for not having any idea how to do a hyperlink. I guess it's easier than you thought it was. Thanks for the interesting and helpfully informative answers to my question!