mil's b-day or own mom's sacrifice? (poss spoiler)

[Catalpa]

First, pardon the lack of character names. I came to this show late, b/c sometimes it's on when I expect Who's my Love reruns to air. I'm getting hooked. And I think this had aired in rerun as well, but there might be a spoiler here, so be forewarned!

Yes, this is a Korean etiquette question. I don't understand Asian/Korean culture much (although I do pick up a smattering here and there by watching the shows and reading this board).

I know that the mil is wicked, but c'mon! How can she realistically expect a girl to miss her dead mother's anniversary ceremony? That just seems so wrong to me! She could save herself a lot of embarrassment with her friends by graciously telling them her dil has to go to her father's house for the ceremony.

Sheesh. So short-sighted and selfish!!!

[soapygrams]

:)Well, now you know the type of character Screechy Mama is ... selfish, self righteous and demanding. I am trying very hard to find something redeeming in her character - so far - no luck LoL - She treats her own sister worse than a dog; in fact, it's probably a good thing she doesn't have a dog . the poor thing would be deaf from her screeching and bruised from her kicking it LOL. I guess the only thing so far that she has done that was semi-nice was to tell In youngs's sister that her mother did love her very much. I do not like her character at all. But the actress is superb! She has the facial expressions, body language, screechy voice .. she has it all. I'd give her a five star acting award.

[Catalpa]

Thanks, Soapygrams! Yes, I agree she's a good actress, believable even with such an extreme character. I'd love to see her doing an entirely different character (like Lady Choi is so soft and nice in Who's My Love; that's a trip). Example, here in the U.S. the guy who played "Newman" on Seinfeld was also Sally's cop boyfriend on Third Rock from the Sun, but he was such a good actor, you never thought of the other character. Same with Lady Choi. I have to remind myself that this is the same actor!

But let me restate my question, b/c I didn't really put the correct question in, which is ... In Korean etiquette, which trumps the other? The live mother-in-laws birthday or the dead mother's anniversary ceremony? It seems to me that there are stricter codes of conduct in Korea unlike here in the U.S., so I'm curious if there is a technical answer to this etiquette question.

Thanks again,

[mikey]

catalpa said:

Yes, I agree she's a good actress, believable even with such an extreme character. I'd love to see her doing an entirely different character (like Lady Choi is so soft and nice in Who's My Love . . .

I didn't care much for this actress until recently, having only seen her earlier in "To Be With You" (where she also played an almost identically rotten mother-in-law). I always wondered if this screeching of hers was really acting. After all, that's the role she seems to always take. Could she just be someone who's real good at playing herself?

Since then, though, I've seen her play a perfectly sensible mother (trying desperately to keep her nice son from hooking up with an EVIL young woman) in "All About Eve." She's really a sympathetic character in that series, and it's certainly elevated my opinion of this actress a few notches.

That being said, I still honestly find Screech Mom a little too much to bear sometimes.

[WinterBallad]

mikey said:

catalpa said:

Since then, though, I've seen her play a perfectly sensible mother (trying desperately to keep her nice son from hooking up with an EVIL young woman) in "All About Eve." She's really a sympathetic character in that series, and it's certainly elevated my opinion of this actress a few notches.

That being said, I still honestly find Screech Mom a little too much to bear sometimes.

She did have a minor role in the drama "All In" that took place in Korea and Las Vegas. In this drama, she played her role more down key. Only a couple of screeching matches with her daughter. She had a nice character in this movie. I really liked her in this drama.

[Lovely]

I really don't understand ScreechMom. She is the most self-centered, snobby woman I've ever seen on K-dramas. It was In-young's late mother's anniversary. Of course IY should have been there. Ok, so it's ScreechMom's birthday. IY did her part in celebrating with the family. But what is ScreechMom's problem with IY going back home? Sheesh. ScreechMom only cares about her pride and reputation. She really doesn't care about anyone other than herself.

[WinterBallad]

lovely said:

... But what is ScreechMom's problem with IY going back home? Sheesh. ScreechMom only cares about her pride and reputation. She really doesn't care about anyone other than herself.

I wonder what would happen if her own dtr. gets mistreated by her MIL when she marries, if she ever does. I can't imagine someone liking Jin-ah and moreover marrying her. She has the same sad personality as her SM.

[Catalpa]

lovely said:

I really don't understand ScreechMom. She is the most self-centered, snobby woman I've ever seen on K-dramas. It was In-young's late mother's anniversary. Of course IY should have been there. Ok, so it's ScreechMom's birthday. IY did her part in celebrating with the family. But what is ScreechMom's problem with IY going back home? Sheesh. ScreechMom only cares about her pride and reputation. She really doesn't care about anyone other than herself.

The thing is, wouldn't it be better for her "reputation" to be seen as sympathetic to her dil's situation? Couldn't she have played it up in front of her friends saying "oh, dear, go to your mother's sacrifice now, we understand."

Cheers,

[TheBo]

catalpa said:

The thing is, wouldn't it be better for her "reputation" to be seen as sympathetic to her dil's situation? Couldn't she have played it up in front of her friends saying "oh, dear, go to your mother's sacrifice now, we understand."

Well, yes, Catalpa, but the reason you think that is because not only are you reasonable--you are smart, too. Ok-jin wouldn't even have to be smart to figure that out, just cagey, but she's neither.

Bo

[toku27]

catalpa said:

Thanks, Soapygrams! Yes, I agree she's a good actress, believable even with such an extreme character. I'd love to see her doing an entirely different character (like Lady Choi is so soft and nice in Who's My Love; that's a trip). Example, here in the U.S. the guy who played "Newman" on Seinfeld was also Sally's cop boyfriend on Third Rock from the Sun, but he was such a good actor, you never thought of the other character. Same with Lady Choi. I have to remind myself that this is the same actor!

But let me restate my question, b/c I didn't really put the correct question in, which is ... In Korean etiquette, which trumps the other? The live mother-in-laws birthday or the dead mother's anniversary ceremony? It seems to me that there are stricter codes of conduct in Korea unlike here in the U.S., so I'm curious if there is a technical answer to this etiquette question.

Thanks again,

she just goes to show u how people forget who they are and how close minded people get with they got money....feeling that ne one whos not wealthy isnt worthy...i suspect that in the future of that show...it will take rock bottom..( her losing her wealth probably) to realize the wrong it was and come back to her sences....just like in MPC the father at the beginning was mean as heck ...then he turned...semi-likable...i guess after he lost his money to the runaway wife situation....but yea...not just in korean culture is the fact that she acts that way...i think in ne culture race..when u get wealthy sum people just lose it and feel there on top of the world...^^...and dont forget in this train of thinking...she is wealthy and her dil isnt so she feels superior to her in that sorta sence...and she doesnt care about her just that she should b like a god to her...once again becuz shes got money....she used to b poor to so...u'll see....she'll lose her money and either go A. crazy and sum how die or B. realize all the wrong she has done and becuz a nice mil...^^

[Ginnycat unlogged]

She seems like she has very little intellligence/power of analysis. She says IY shouldn't waste her energy doing the curtains, then she makes the poor girl stop ironing and get her a glass of water. Can she learn anything? The look of surprise on her face when her friend said stress can prevent conception-whew, it never occurred to her. Then she criticizes IY's clothes and insists on shopping even tho IY seems reluctant rather than excited or grateful. Stress again, what a surprise.

[wewt]

Ginnycat said:

She seems like she has very little intellligence/power of analysis. She says IY shouldn't waste her energy doing the curtains, then she makes the poor girl stop ironing and get her a glass of water. Can she learn anything? The look of surprise on her face when her friend said stress can prevent conception-whew, it never occurred to her. Then she criticizes IY's clothes and insists on shopping even tho IY seems reluctant rather than excited or grateful. Stress again, what a surprise.

lol, yea, what a crazy lady SM is . In all her attempts to cut down on or prevent In-Young's stress, she just causes her more stree and makes it worse.

[toku27]

wewt said:

Ginnycat said:

She seems like she has very little intellligence/power of analysis. She says IY shouldn't waste her energy doing the curtains, then she makes the poor girl stop ironing and get her a glass of water. Can she learn anything? The look of surprise on her face when her friend said stress can prevent conception-whew, it never occurred to her. Then she criticizes IY's clothes and insists on shopping even tho IY seems reluctant rather than excited or grateful. Stress again, what a surprise.

lol, yea, what a crazy lady SM is . In all her attempts to cut down on or prevent In-Young's stress, she just causes her more stree and makes it worse.

yea she sez shes trying to cut back on the stress...but not outta love...shes gunna have to love her to not cause her stress...becuz IY mil not lovign her is stressing...jeese...