This is sooooo late but I wonder that too because I have seen shows like coffee prince where they start the show off with a couple rolling around in bed and living with each other and no parents. Then I've seen films like oldboy and a bittersweet life. I always tried to figure it out in the beginning because i mostly watch KBS dramas and of course like Lucy said, they are totally conservative
In High As The Sky, the adopted son and his new wife (I forget their names) had their own very nice apartment but decided to move in with his parents. I never understood that. Maybe like MisterBill says, it was to look after them.
Italian sons (In Italy anyway) live at home until they are married. The daughters beat the heck out as soon as they can.
See I can't even imagine me and my girlfriend living with my parents but I do like the way they do it in these shows (dont know if everyone in korea follows this). It seems like if its the right couple then it makes the family stronger. I say the right couple cause Seonjae and Sua are really creating havoc in their new home I like that a lot though cause they can learn from the elders but at the same time I can quickly think of a couple of disadvatages as well. Like for one how they want them to have babies quickly and I remember in My Sweetheart, My darling where the mom told them the exact day to start, dont think I could do that one for ya mom lol
There is a lot pf pressure but I can't say the same brooklyn, I'm one of two sons left in my family and I'm oldest and the most pressured to get married and have a son to keep the family name going. Whew, if only my cousin could be the oldest so he would have to get all of the scoldings I get. It's a pain but parents in some families just stalk their kids for grandchildren before they can even walk lol
[quote author=puppy board=likable thread=6795 post=97869 Italian sons (In Italy anyway) live at home until they are married. The daughters beat the heck out as soon as they can.
Cool. I like a guy who can live at home with his parents and yet be his own person. More of a man than those who run away from home as soon as they can.[/quote]
Thats kind of funny you say that rendezvous cause a lot of girls will say they hate a guy who lives with their parents and come to find out, they're dating a guy who still lives with their parents. I've noticed that cause all of my cousins friends do it and one girl married the guy
I know! I find it such a turn off when people make jokes about guys who live at home with their parents. I find nothing wrong with that. I find it very strange - and a turn off - when guys make jokes about how they cannot live at home with their parents. I go 'uh oh, what's wrong with you/your family" and I lose interest in the guy. If a guy cannot maintain a healthy relationship with his parents, I don't hold my breath than he can have a healthy relationship with me!
I think a lot of it is TV. On TV, its not cool to live with your parents or even to like them! I've never been one to follow the popular trends.
In Italy, in practice, it's not all that "cool" that the guys live with their parents. I have seen firsthand in families I've stayed with that the mamma does everything, and, in the sons, this results in "mammismo"--they are mamma's boys who are used to being waited on hand and foot and having everything done for them. No wife could ever measure up unless she devoted herself entirely to her husband's care. I'm not saying they're all like this, but it's definitely a known phenomenon.
Yes, of course, there are guys who are mama's boys and treat their moms like their maids. I'm not referring to them. They exist outside of Italy too. Some guys think they are too cool to live at home. Yet they bring their laundry home for mama to wash & iron! Now, how cool is that?!
Hey, if you want to question my experience of Italian culture, go right ahead. But in all those other countries that have guys who are mama's boys (obviously practically every country in the world, including this one), are there articles in newspapers and magazines decrying it as a widespread phenomenon that makes men less attractive to their prospective wives, who have better things to do than wait on them hand and foot? Of course any bit of human behavior can be found anywhere in the world. That's not really arguable.
Anyway, the point isn't that the guys "treat their mothers like maids"--the point is that the guys have been raised to expect it. I experienced the same treatment as a guest. I was not allowed to help in the kitchen except after extreme efforts on my part, the mom went through my suitcase looking for laundry she could do even after I asked her not to, I was expected to come home to the suburbs for a full 3-course, homemade lunch every day even if I was out sightseeing.... The boys in the family (ages 23 and 26) didn't have to do anything except study. In another family I stayed with, one of the sons (age 38) lived in another apartment in the same complex, and his mom catered all his meals. There was nothing in his fridge except a Parma ham and some juice. This kind of inclusive care does not lead to the development of independent young people. It's nice if families are close, but I'm pointing out the other side of living at home in Italy.
I'm with you, Lucy. We showed our two boys the door as soon as they finished college and had jobs. (Unfortunately cab driving and doing something like collecting towels in a health club.) Thank god that's over with!
Adding to Lucy and rendezvous's comments= I totally see what your saying and you have the experience to back it up for sure. In the K dramas you see that the guys live with their parents but it seems ok because for one it seems to be a custom of their culture. The other is that these men have jobs and are married or are looking and they act like responsible men. In america you have these guys who are kind of sociopaths that live in thier mothers basement and they want to stay their forever. These are the type of guys who live with their parents that I believe freak out girls. But the guys who are still young and going to school but can't afford to live on their own, I believe is a entire different story. Sadly this is one of those things in the U.S. where some people feel a girl can do it but a guy can't. I wish my mom was like the mom's over in italy but at the same time I think I would get tired of it, like she raised me to be a man but is still treating me like a child.