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Post by soapygrams on Aug 19, 2007 21:12:02 GMT -5
Fan, I'm not sure I know what you mean by saying "calling him evil gives him more power". More power to do what? He's already betrayed both women; even if he wants to take custody of their daughter, he will face a court battle because the laws, THANK GOD, in Korea have changed and the child/ren do not automatically go with the father. In Jiyeong's case, she has raised the child by herself without any input from the father or the father's family, whether personal or financial. So just as in American courts, the best interest of the child is the main consideration. Jiyeong is a fit, loving and nurturing mother who has been able to support her child without any help from anyone else. Her daughter has a loving grandmother and great grandmother and aunt. Jiyeong told Junho it was not his child because she was afraid he would take her daughter from her. She did not know that the laws had changed. As to Junho, he has a long way to go as far as I'm concerned to prove he is worthy to be a father and an even further way to be a husband to Jiyeong or anyone else. I for one, would never be able to trust him again. I don't know if you are male or female but many males consider a man having an "affair" is forgivable but if a woman does it , it is a marriage ender for sure. Just the difference in how the two genders can view the same situation but have very different points of view.
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fan
New Addict
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Post by fan on Aug 19, 2007 22:01:45 GMT -5
Power - that he is more than just a weak human being. That's what he is - weak. He is not evil. At first when i said that a marriage can survive infidelity, people post and said that becase i have never been betrayed so i think like dis. Now you ask as if maybe i am a male so i would think differently?! So you think that everyone of the same gender should think in the same way? That's stereotype! Jiyeon does not agree with you - she will tell Junho what a good father he is!
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Post by soapygrams on Aug 19, 2007 23:25:47 GMT -5
I said in my post that ". . . but many males consider a man having an "affair" is forgivable but if a woman does it , it is a marriage ender for sure. Just the difference in how the two genders can view the same situation but have very different points of view." I did not say ALL MALES or ALL FEMALES. The word many means more than a few; it does not mean ALL. It is however, mostly true that males and females have a different view of "cheating"; a man's transgressions can be forgiven much easier than that of a woman. That is just the way it is with some people. Again, I did not say ALL people. A case in point is in Islamic countries, a woman who commits adultery is publicly stoned to death; whereas there is NO punishment for a man. That's not stereotyping, that's fact. You are as entitled to your opinion as much as I am entitled to mine. However, I will tell you from personal experience that the betrayal by one's spouse is a heart wrenching event and for some people it is impossible to forgive let alone forget and continue the relationship. Some people are able to do so. Some people are not. And by people I mean both women and men, not just women.
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fan
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Post by fan on Aug 19, 2007 23:55:09 GMT -5
Excuse me, we are clearly not speaking about an Islamic country, or Islam law or a Muslim couple, so please don't use that as an example. You mentioned that you didn't know my gender and followed that by saying that 'many males consider a male having an affair is forgiveable ...'
Anyway I do not wish to argue with you. It is obvious that one can only post comments you approve otherwise there is jumping to conclusion like I've never been betrayed, questionning my gender etc.
I will not enter this forum anymore.
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brenda
Senior Addict
smiling on the outside
Posts: 345
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Post by brenda on Aug 20, 2007 0:48:42 GMT -5
sorry, "guys", (& i don't mean all males neither),
but I have to say I have personally seen other ethnic groups believing the same thing. when it comes to nfidelity, it seems to be overlooked when it's the male being unfaithful.
But I haven't witnessed anything written in stone, there are exceptions in any culture.
whether junho slept with her once or more, he still broke his words a few times more when promising jiyeon not to have any more contact with her at all.
first thing he does is gets in the car with her. right then & there he shpuld have told her, NO!! case closed!!
but IMO, & like many others have posted, he's weak, not polite, but weak, & stupid!
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Post by PippiBella on Aug 20, 2007 10:06:29 GMT -5
I am Italian and it is seen that way too. men can do it and is overlooked because they are males. if females do it it is considered horrific and they should be punished . it's not fair. i am sure there are exceptions because people have their own views so not every ethnic group might not believe that as a whole. double standard. females sluts and males are studs?! People still think that way.. even in 2007!! really sad..
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