labor pains?

[zorro]

Okay this is the second time I've seen this happen, so I'm wondering if it's considered "normal" behavior for women in labor.

Specifically they scream obscenities at their husbands, and even pull at his hair if he's unlucky enough to get that close, while being wheeled in on the gurnee for delivery. This seems odd and even a little scary to me if it's indeed a "custom" because, for one reason, they go to such great lengths not to disturb the baby in everyday life leading up to the delivery date.

The first time I saw this (in Bazarre Bunch with Jongnam) I was taken aback somewhat, but thought I missed something in the episode that set her off. This time in Chill sisters, a woman screaming the "B" word with her husband in a headlock is wheeled past Taeja's mom and wife as they're touring the military base with Soechill, and no one bats an eye.

This was in the same episode after Youngpal's wife complains that he was never there for her during her deliveries. Well if this was waiting for him, I can see why. Can anyone explain?

[kathleen34]

Such good points zorro. They really overplay the pain of childbirth. How many times have we seen people carrying someone on their back to the ER .. or sniffling a little bit and going to the hospital as a result of sniffling... so when childbirth comes about hospital personnel don't give any TLC to the mom? Just let the poor dad be physically and emotionally abused?

I've had 2 children and have never reacted badly to my now-dead-ex-husband.

This is so on target:
[glow=red,2,300]This was in the same episode after Youngpal's wife complains that he was never there for her during her deliveries. Well if this was waiting for him, I can see why. [/glow] Can anyone explain?

[soapygrams]

I think after 8 babies I am qualified to answer you. First of all, let me address the fact that EVERY SINGLE DELIVERY is different. Just because a woman has an easy birth it does not necessarily mean that the future birthings will be "easy". Many things happen at the time of labor. My first clinical when I was in nursing school was at St. Vincent's Infant and Maternity Home. The mothers were mostly all unwed young girls and back then, hardly ANY women swore for any reason LOL -- they all said how dumb they had been to get "in trouble" and the labor pains were their punishment. That said, I can tell you that for myself there were a few moments when I wanted my husband to change places with me ... if only for a few of those contractions entering into the third stage of labor. I do remember when I was having my first baby in the Naval Hospital in Portsmouth, VA, one of the women in the next-door cubicle was a heavy duty screamer -- she scared the stuffing out of me --- no banshee could have drowned out her screams! I found out later that she had delivered a 5.9 oz baby -- all the nurses were shaking their heads about her. So, I don't think it's all that unusual - it truly depends upon many factors, the pain threshold of the mother, the size of the baby; the health of the mother; the health of the relationship between the husband and wife -- in other words, you never can really predict with accuracy how a woman will react to labor - some have hardly any problems while others suffer greatly. that's life - we are the same in many ways but like snowflakes, we are all individuals. Amen ... ;D

[ginnycat5]

Hooray for epidurals! As the anesthesiologist was getting ready to give me one, he said, Patient number 98, or something. Normally, I'd want more information, because it sounded like I was part of an experiment, but at that point, just DO it.

[Lucy]

Zorro, as an armchair anthropologist, I was paying close attention to what she said in that scene, and to me it seemed to be a statement of some kind of culturally expected behavior. Not the greatest example, but you know how people with headaches are often portrayed holding their heads and going, "Oh, my aching head!"? (Let's leave Ok-geum from "Pure 19" out of it for now, LOL.) Who would do that exact thing if they hadn't seen others do it? It sounds as though one thing Korean women in childbirth are supposed to WANT to do is pull their husbands' hair out and curse them, and so they do. Whether really do in real life, I don't know, but Taeja's mom seemed pretty sure that that's what they do in her world.

[zorro]

Lucy, which "she" did you mean? But I get your intention, thanks.

Soapy, I'm not questioning the pain involved. I was told that if you grab your lower lip and then pull it all the way over your head, you *might* begin to have an idea of how painful it is.

My question is more about the verbal abuse at the husbands right as labor is eminent. It just doesn't follow the logic that they propose in that "shush, the baby can hear you", etc. I would think that "now" if at any time, the baby would certainly be able to hear a tirade of obscenities so close to coming out. It just strikes me as weird, customary or not.

Last week I stumbled onto a show late at night that was about women and childbirth and the associated risks for PPD, breast, ovarian, and one other cancer. It was part of a documentary, I think, might be on again tonight at around 11. Very interesting and informative, and not a mention of this type of behavior unless I missed that.

[soapygrams]

;D Well it's one way for the fathe to understand what the physical side of having a baby is like - the lip pulling I mean. As far as the baby hearing etc. - babies do hear in the womb. But I seriously doubt that they understand LANGUAGE since spoken language is something that has to be taught to humans. Women are smart to let that husband know that the baby that's coming out is HIS and that he is a part of that baby's life from the conception to, well, life forever LOL. Different cultures have different customs so I cannot speak for others but I do know that the desire on the part of the woman in labor for that man who fathered that baby is extremely strong to have him suffer just a bit of the pain she is enduring. It is a very individual and personal way of dealing with that particular pain - some women handle it well, others are in desparate pain. We can't judge them and since it's the husband who is the father and in the mother's mind, the reason she is now having so much pain, it seems like a very natural and normal thing to do LOL -- at least to the woman doing the hair pulling and name calling. After the birth they are all lovey-dovey -- the pain is forgotten and is replaced with the joy of motherhood. That's just the way it is and I don't think the writers are overstating the screaming women - it happens all the time - not to every woman in labor but to enough so that it's not at all a strange behaviour. It's not just Korean women either - LOL - ANY woman might react this way - don't know until you're there in the moment - I learned a long long time ago not to judge someone else's pain because we all handle it at different levels. So just look at it from the woman in the throes of labor as her way of letting beloved husband share her pain threshold - it will be over soon ...