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Post by jiminyK on Aug 24, 2005 20:55:29 GMT -5
I think the ladies of MSMD are the most a-changing chicks of any show I've seen so far... what do I mean? Well * In Young was kinda hip b4 marriage. Into her marriage, she was lookin kinda rough (understandably so, because she was EXHAUSTED by KJ evil mom) But now In Young's H-O-T! She's got her hair done, and her outfits are even more hip than b4! ^ Sun Mi, on the other hand... WHAT HAPPENED TO HER??!!! more specif... What happened to her HAIR?!!! She use 2 b my fav b/c of her hair and clothes. But now she's looking like she just rolled out from under the bed every eppy!!! # lastly, Hee-Jo. Sharp as usual, but her hair is much cuter now, as is Jin-Ah's hair, now that they've both turned it down a notch
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Post by Soju on Aug 24, 2005 21:20:59 GMT -5
Jin-ah has also turned the attitude down a notch, which is quite welcome. But her mom keeps sailing along, with the same 'do and orneriness.
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Post by ginnycat5 on Aug 25, 2005 9:50:15 GMT -5
Jin-ah has also turned the attitude down a notch, which is quite welcome. But her mom keeps sailing along, with the same 'do and orneriness. After the three-year time jump, SM's hair was different, she seemed to have it pulled back from her face, like with a headband, tho I didn't see a band. I think it was more Eva Gabor before, poufier around the face. Her attitude, tho--just outrageous! Can In-young have her arrested for assault? In the previews SM gives IY a hard smack across the face-aigu. Press assault charges, get a restraining order, and bring a lawsuit for emotional distress. (I guess it's a little late for the distress lawsuit, since IY was so compliant.) I want SM to be punished!!! And why didn't IY and KJ correct the idea that they were living together and seeing each other every day at work? Even if she won't actually listen, they shouldn't passively accept all her criticisms. And SHE has the nerve to accuse KJ of yelling when he was only a bit snippy- "I just came back from sleeping with In-young. Does that answer your question?" grrrr
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Post by galacticchick on Aug 25, 2005 9:59:47 GMT -5
Totally agree w/you re: Sunmi's look jiminy! It looked like she permed her hair and it absolutely did not work out so she's waiting for it to grow out.
I don't like Hejoo's "artsy/bohemian" look. It looks messy instead of whimsical, and what's up with her 5 foot necklaces man?
Mijung's hair looks nicer now that it isn't so straight and it is growing out.
Jinah's hair is a big improvement. SM looks like a parakeet with that semi-mohawk she's sporting right now.
Aunt's hair hasn't changed, but is it me or does it look like she's wearing petticoats underneath her dress. I always see white ruffles peaking from underneath the bottom of her dress.
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Post by Lucy on Aug 25, 2005 10:04:41 GMT -5
After Kathleen posted on one of the boards--or maybe she said it to me privately--about a book she had read called "Culture Shock: Korea" (there's a series of Culture Shock books), I went to a bookstore and perused it a bit. It was an eye-opener. I think we all have gathered that filial behavior and obedience are expected, which I believe is the legacy of Confucianism, but I didn't realize how deep it goes. This book actually said (paraphrasing), "children believe they owe their parents everything, and that they could never hope to repay their parents for their sacrifices during their lifetime or even after" (emphasis mine). That's one reason why ancestral memorial services go on into the fourth generation (which we never see on the K-dramas). There are also very strong cultural ideas about what sort of emotional behavior is appropriate. It is a serious offense to hurt someone's (I can't remember the Korean word, but it is sort of like feelings/self-esteem/self-concept), and you have to be careful not to do them an injury by your words. (I can imagine this goes double in the case of one's parents!) This apparently leads Westerners to find Koreans to be "oversensitive" in some ways. The other point I wanted to mention is that it is very important for people (esp. younger people/people in an inferior social position ) to avoid displaying their problems and disturbing the overall calmness. Talking about your real feelings is often a no-no, such as in the situations we've seen (and been frustrated by) when SM berates the "kids" on the basis of some ridiculous accusation and all they do is say, "I'm sorry." That is appropriate behavior according to the custom. So I feel personally that I've been reading the situation wrong, even allowing for the fact that we Westerners are more apt to talk things through and don't have many ideas about behavior being appropriate or inappropriate based on your relative social position. I think I have been expecting In-young and Ki-joon to act in ways that they never would, according to strict obedience to custom. In fact, Ki-joon seems (just based on the one book I read) to be behaving at the very outer limits of politeness. Talking back to his mother like that is pretty "out there"!!
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Post by ginnycat5 on Aug 25, 2005 10:24:16 GMT -5
Holy cow! Thanks, Lucy- but how suffocating! I guess the children learn from an early age to stuff it down instead of expressing feelings. (Wonder if they ever think, "When I grow up, then I can have it all MY way.") Or with the attitude training they get, I suppose they may just feel guilt instead of the seeing-red, steam-coming-from-the-ears anger I feel when SM blows up so unjustly. Aigu. Wonder if parenting is easier when obedience and guilt are so ingrained. Parents of teens may not have so much angst as they do here-? Or the kids get into the same amount of trouble, just feel more guilt.
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Post by ovaridedis24 on Aug 25, 2005 11:59:58 GMT -5
SM looks like she can break a wooden board or two with that head of hair, heck, she can probably break it just by screaming at it
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Post by Lucy on Aug 25, 2005 12:29:43 GMT -5
Holy cow! Thanks, Lucy- but how suffocating! I guess the children learn from an early age to stuff it down instead of expressing feelings. (Wonder if they ever think, "When I grow up, then I can have it all MY way.") Or with the attitude training they get, I suppose they may just feel guilt instead of the seeing-red, steam-coming-from-the-ears anger I feel when SM blows up so unjustly. Aigu. Wonder if parenting is easier when obedience and guilt are so ingrained. Parents of teens may not have so much angst as they do here-? Or the kids get into the same amount of trouble, just feel more guilt. I wonder about that, ginny. I wonder if guilt enters into or or whether the parents do have an easier time. I have the sense that guilt as we understand it doesn't enter into it so much, because it's not that the parents are saying, "Aiguu! My child is like a knife in my heart!" when their kids oppose them. It seems more like a shared philosophy. And maybe being trained to keep your emotions subdued leads to just having more subdued emotions in general. I'm reminded of how people always used to be encouraged to "get out your aggression, don't hold it in," and then I read about a study that said that people who "let out" their aggression weren't getting rid of it, and that in fact it just made them more in touch with their aggression. That's an extremely unscientific recall of what I read years ago, but the idea that "giving in" to your feelings leads your feelings to be stronger seems logical in a way. I mean, Buddhists practice detaching from their strong feelings and grow more resilient and less reactive as a result. Also, if people grow up with the understanding that they're not to go around upsetting others by letting it all hang out, then they probably don't feel that they want to show their feelings. That is, they probably don't feel suppressed, because they don't want to have things in an uproar any more than others do. Well, I've blathered on enough about this. It's an interesting topic to me, though.
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Post by kathleen34 on Aug 25, 2005 12:57:22 GMT -5
Lucy Says:
Also, if people grow up with the understanding that they're not to go around upsetting others by letting it all hang out, then they probably don't feel that they want to show their feelings.
While his inability to slap his mother upside the head, I have far more compassion and respect for Ki-Joon than I do on some under-shirt-clad duffus with greasy, stringy hair on Jerry Springer who's having an affair with his heighbor's under-aged daughter because it's his life, dammit, and nobody's gonna tell me what or what not to do.
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Post by TheBo on Aug 25, 2005 13:47:07 GMT -5
Lucy, thanks, that explains so much! Did you actually buy the book or just "peruse" (LOL)? Is it worth the purchasing?
Bo
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Post by Lucy on Aug 25, 2005 15:32:46 GMT -5
You should ask Kathleen--I did just peruse it over a lunch hour.
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Post by lizlib on Aug 25, 2005 15:48:47 GMT -5
Thanks, Lucy, that does explain a lot. I was getting so frustrated with IY and her lack of any backbone. She certainly seemed to have it in the first episode when she ran in to SM and refused to take the blame, so I could only wonder what happened to her! And she seemed to be more assertive with everyone until she got married! On the other hand, Sun-mi seemed assertive with everyone, EXCEPT her mother. She was always bubbly and outgoing and said what she thought. Jin-ah must not have been raised traditionally however, because even though it was a breath of fresh air to have her toned down a bit, she is/was still pushy and spoiled and just TOLD sm what she was going to do. In that case it seemed that SM would make a nasty comment and then ignore her! But I don't think Jin-ah demonstrated any guilty feelings, only feelings of being thwarted in what she wanted. This was a lot like Hee-Joo. She's a clever one however. She 'suffers' when she is foiled worrying her parents no end. Yet she is devious and a plotter and I don't think she has changed one bit, nor do I think she believes or was taught that reverence for her elders. She says what she thinks will work to her advantage. This is whty I was getting frustrated with IY. She didn't seem like the brightest bulb in the lamp! She just stands there, looking foolish and says "I'm sorry" or nothing at all. But with this being such a deeply rooted attitude in Korean culture - I cannot then explain SM's behavior. Did she not get any of this while growing up, yet her sister did? She had to have a mother-in-law and would have had to do many of the things that Ok-ja and IY does/did. And surely she would have learned the value of subtle diplomacy. She behaves kind of properly when outsiders are present, but even then it appears to be difficult. Just now we are seeing Mi-Jung's polite and submissive side in her dealings with her aunt and uncle and his illness. Of course, even with In-Chul she takes an awful lot of guff and doesn't give it back. What's that all about? For my money - Auntie is the best, most well-rounded and likeable lady of MS! Liz
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Post by panther on Aug 25, 2005 20:38:29 GMT -5
i agree that the korean culture is definantly different than american culture. sometimes i get so mad at in young for taking SM's abuse but then i realize "she's not going to yell back even if she wanted too" because she wassent raised that way. its taboo to disrespect elders over there.
but i do see how people like hee-joo and ki-joon manipulate others to get what they want.
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mercy
New Addict
Posts: 22
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Post by mercy on Aug 31, 2005 23:51:53 GMT -5
Lucy, your insights were so thought-provoking. They must have a lot of ulcers in Korea from holding their emotions in. Respecting your elders is important but every person has a right to be treated with kindness and consideration. We were put here to love one another! My favorite thing about the Korean dramas are the subtle, understated interactions and quiet strength of many of the characters. One thing that makes me scrunch up my face is when they kiss! There's no zing....just lips touching lips. They are such good actors but when it comes to physical contact I don't really remember anyone ever swooning from a kiss....has anyone else noticed this? Maybe In-Young has been hanging her head with that sad boo boo face a little too long. I want to see her laugh again and I want to see some passionate smooches!!!
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Post by Lucy on Sept 1, 2005 12:08:58 GMT -5
My favorite thing about the Korean dramas are the subtle, understated interactions and quiet strength of many of the characters. Yes, I've grown to appreciate this very much, too. It shows how life doesn't all have to be ego and acting out--that you should obey higher principles, too. For sure. They act as though they don't really like kissing. The guy almost always initiates it, and it really is just faces touching for however long. Even if it goes on for a long time, it's just like they're standing there, lips touching, big whoop. I think that when you kiss, it means you're going to get engaged. (At least in the conservative world depicted in the dramas.) I don't think these young adults are used to physical contact.
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