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Post by galacticchick on Nov 3, 2005 15:01:05 GMT -5
Unni, thank you very much. Okay we're done now Bo.
But we don't know that's the attitude she's taken, you are just assuming that. All we know Sunmi said is "Don't concern yourself." She's never said their opinion doesn't matter or anything like that and I don't want to give spoilers, but I have reason to believe (at least from what I remember) that the don't concern yourself means something like "don't worry too much about it" but I'll wait till friday or saturday to explain.
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Post by TheBo on Nov 3, 2005 15:11:10 GMT -5
Well, if I was assuming it, it was from the comments I read here, not from watching the show. I don't really remember this incident in particular, just that it was kind of shocking to hear how upset younger grandpa was by the fact the guy was black. I guess I just overreached. Bo
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Post by Alexa on Nov 3, 2005 20:21:03 GMT -5
My co-workers and I were talking about interracial marriages and all of them agreed that one should not marry outside of ones race or culture. I was kind of shocked to hear this from them, because I don't think like that at all. I thought that in this day in age, nobody would have a problem with the whole race issue, especially here in the United States where we have people from all over the world. Well one of them told me that it would be really hard to maintain the marriage when there are 2 different cultures going on and that it would cause to many problems and that the children would grow up confused. I was kind of hurt by all this because in my mind I was thinking "okay so does that mean I should only stick to dating hispanic men?" "Am I only allowed to marry a Mexican man?" Anyways the way I see it (and what I told them) is that marriages are work. I mean you can't just go into a marriage thinking that everything is going to be wonderful all the time, it takes work and time to maintain and keep a marriage. No matter what race you are, or who you end up marrying, it takes both of you's to keep the marriage strong. Though in the beginning it might be difficult with the /racial/cultural differences, if they are willing to work through them, then what is the big deal? I know ALOT of people who have married within their race and their marriages are horrible. Now I'm not saying that you shouldn't marry within your race, what I'm saying is that all marriages have difficulties, you go through trials no matter who is the person that you marry. Anyways my coworkers were firm in their belief that you should not marry outside of your race. Well what is race? I'm mean nowadays you can't tell what race someone is, and in the end we are all just a mixture of different cultures and backgrounds. My great-grandmother was white with colored eyes, but my grandmother is really dark skinned (or as I like to call it beautifully tanned)with dark hair and eyes. Who knows what my great grandmother was mixed with. In the end we are all of one race, the human race. Personally I would have no problem marrying someone of a different culture/race, if I love him, and he loves me, we share the same faith, and he treats me with respect, the color of his skin doesn't matter to me.
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Post by Lucy on Nov 7, 2005 11:56:45 GMT -5
GC, and everyone, did I hallucinate it, or did they explicitly reference "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?" in Saturday's episode? I think Younger Grandpa's Wife mentioned Su-pen-cer Tu-racy, in fact.
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Post by toranaga2 on Nov 7, 2005 15:19:41 GMT -5
that would be correct lucy
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Post by ginnycat5 on Nov 7, 2005 15:20:27 GMT -5
Yes, they both kept discussing it- Younger Grandpa said he was like Tracy, because neither one is prejudiced during his whole life, but when it comes to one's child, one is shocked at one's feelings, and has trouble sorting it out. Maybe it's more like a severe rocking the family boat, rather than being unable to accept the different new member. Partly not knowing what changes are going to happen, what new demands of culture rather than just personalities. (Too bad ScreechMom on MSMD couldn't be written off as just from another culture, and "we're not going to live that way, we're Korean.") Does this make any sense? GC, and everyone, did I hallucinate it, or did they explicitly reference "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?" in Saturday's episode? I think Younger Grandpa's Wife mentioned Su-pen-cer Tu-racy, in fact.
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Post by BungalowDweller on Nov 7, 2005 18:37:42 GMT -5
I thought Grandpa handled the race/culture thing pretty well when he spoke with Sumi over the phone. He didn't jump down her throat, insult her friend (call names)etc. He seemed to listen and then he told her that he trusted her! What a great dad! Then he told his wife not to worry. He also had a mini-monologue where he said that he despised racism. I like him!
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Post by TheBo on Nov 8, 2005 10:01:24 GMT -5
Good grief, Alexa, where do you work, the League of Racial Purity? (LOL) I, too, am shocked at your co-workers' opinions. I mean, I know there are people out there who think this way, but it seems odd that EVERYONE you work with would do so. I can only hope it's a small office.
I agree with everything you say, but I slightly disagree with the religion thing. People of different religions get married all the time and have successful marriages. I think the most important thing is similar core values, but even those who disagree on such huge matters as the death penalty have successful marriages. Maybe it just boils down to two things--whether you love one another, and how much you have agreed to disagree on the certain matters. Maybe just going in with a true, accurate picture of each other is the most important thing of all.
Bo
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Post by xelaevolie on Nov 8, 2005 10:49:20 GMT -5
She lives here. They came over when the husband was 9, so the parents were well into adulthood when they came. But I'm not sure how much that means, since xelaevoli's MIL lives in Korea, from what I recall, and she seemed not to have a problem with her American DIL. Then again, we don't know the particulars of Melissa's situation, either. Melissa, if you are reading this, would you like to chime in? P.S. But, getting back to the thought that prompted you to start this thread, I agree that we would have to expect some difficulties if the situation arose. I don't know why I came to this thread, but I did and can answer as to MY particular situation. I met my DH in China and BOTH sets of families were concerned about our getting married. Mine, because they didn't know him. His, because they were afraid I was going to be like the women in American movies. My parents haven't had a problem with our marriage because as long as I'm happy - they're happy. They don't care about skin color or race, in spite of being Southerners. When I arrived in Korea, the entire family was wonderful. I'll never forget my younger SIL presenting me with a flower and my (soon-to-be) MIL having a meal prepared. In spite of their misgivings, they presented a wonderful front and treated me like a princess. I don't know if this had anything to do with it ( ) but I was newly preggers at the time. (No, we didn't HAVE to get married...we wanted to) I know that being pregnant did have positive points, especially from what you see in Korean dramas. I didn't have to do a thing and when they found out I was having a BOY (wasn't supposed to know...Koreans, at that time anyway, weren't told the sex of their baby because of fears of them aborting if it was a girl) - they were thrilled. Anyway, looking back, I don't know if being pregnant had anything to do with it but I DO know that my MIL and younger SIL are wonderful people who will always hold a special place in my heart. (Ok, the rest of the family is fine, but they didn't make an impact like my MIL and younger SIL - although my FIL was kind, he just wasn't around much.) Melissa (whew....that was longwinded....guess you regret wondering! LOL)
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Post by Alexa on Nov 8, 2005 14:27:11 GMT -5
Good grief, Alexa, where do you work, the League of Racial Purity? (LOL) I, too, am shocked at your co-workers' opinions. I mean, I know there are people out there who think this way, but it seems odd that EVERYONE you work with would do so. I can only hope it's a small office Its a small law firm, only 7 of us. Out of those 7, 4 of them don't agree with mixed marriages. I haven't talked with the other two about this topic. I know one of my other co-workers has alot of mixed marriages in her family, so I doubt she is against it. I agree with everything you say, but I slightly disagree with the religion thing. People of different religions get married all the time and have successful marriages. oh I know that there are people who have different religious backgrounds, that have gotten married and have good marriages. I was talking about my own personal opinion and what I am looking for. The man I am to marry has to share my same faith. I know that just because two people who share the same faith get married, that doesn't guarantee a wonderful marriage. You have to look at alot of things and like I said, a marriage is something you work at. But for me that would be one of the qualifications, he has to share my same faith, same beliefs. We will disagree in things, we will have different opinions in others, but I don't want my faith to be something we disagree on.
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Post by TheBo on Nov 8, 2005 16:04:41 GMT -5
Ah! So it boils down to, for Alexa, that you would have to agree to be the same faith. I guess that ties in with the "agree on what we will disagree about" part.
Melissa, I never regret asking you any question. LOL.
Bo
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Post by BungalowDweller on Nov 8, 2005 19:32:38 GMT -5
Thanks so much for sharing this. I didn't find it long-winded and it's nice to hear from others who also have married outside of their culture!
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Post by AintNoFool on Nov 11, 2005 22:33:36 GMT -5
Being AA, I was angry for a second. Then I realized it was a television drama. However, I think that it is a culture thing. Older Grandpa took it well. This really hit home because my boyfriend is asian, and at first, I thought that the reactions in his family were racist. When I saw this, it made sense. They are just afraid for their children like any other parent; they probably see an interracial relationship as a hardship for their children to go through.
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Post by soapygrams on Nov 11, 2005 23:08:52 GMT -5
Well, after reading these posts I now understand why so many people think my family is "one of a kind" LOL .. I have 5 daughters, 1 son. My sons-in-law are: Japanese; Mexican, Jewish, Irish, British, and my ex DIL is Dutch-American. My current DIL is Irish-American. One of my Granddaughters is married to a Tunisian Muslim. We fly a lot of flags at my house when the entire family gets together; we eat a lot of different foods and hear a lot of different languages .. but we have one thing in common: LOVE of family. We celebrate one another's culture and customs and welcome new foods and ideas .. it's so good for my 11 grandchildren to be with family with such diverse roots. I feel very blessed to have them all in my family.
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Post by xelaevolie on Nov 12, 2005 8:42:23 GMT -5
Well, after reading these posts I now understand why so many people think my family is "one of a kind" LOL .. I have 5 daughters, 1 son. My sons-in-law are: Japanese; Mexican, Jewish, Irish, British, and my ex DIL is Dutch-American. My current DIL is Irish-American. One of my Granddaughters is married to a Tunisian Muslim. We fly a lot of flags at my house when the entire family gets together; we eat a lot of different foods and hear a lot of different languages .. but we have one thing in common: LOVE of family. We celebrate one another's culture and customs and welcome new foods and ideas .. it's so good for my 11 grandchildren to be with family with such diverse roots. I feel very blessed to have them all in my family. Wow!! That's awesome! Melissa
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