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Post by brooklyn on Feb 14, 2008 4:26:49 GMT -5
Wow, has anyone ever worked among people so bold and in your business before?
The most I've gotten are the ones that talk about their own lives and others yes, but not in your or the person's presence or they swear with every other word. But in the dramas so far, co-workers are so rude at times. I hope you understand what I mean lol.
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kfan
Junior Addict
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Post by kfan on Feb 14, 2008 19:56:06 GMT -5
I don't watch much American shows but I remember scenes from Friends, The Office etc. where everything is everybody's business. Yes, I wouldn't like to live like that.
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Post by puppy on Feb 17, 2008 15:47:43 GMT -5
On the one hand the Bonjour crew seems professional, showing up on time, dressed nicely (except for the chubby guy) gazing intently at their monitors. But on ther other hand, I agree with Brooklyn and kfan that it's a straaange office. They all seem welded at the hip, eating and drinking after work together, into one another's business and not always in a friendly way. Everyone but Baekho and Danpung (except maybe the gal who sits beside Baekho) are suck-ups in one form or another. It's a very confusing dynamic.
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sheila
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Post by sheila on Feb 17, 2008 20:16:54 GMT -5
I wonder if its a cultural thing? I am half-Asian and there are times I feel that I don't belong on either side (on my Dad's side, we're Portuguese and Irish) but there are lotsa times I feel that I have the best of both worlds. I've worked in Asia during school vacations and worked in a Korean and Singaporean MNC here. Although I am half-Asian, it took some getting used to that colleagues (even supervisors) wanted to know everything about me. They would ask even the most personal questions. No-one thought they were being intrusive or rude. To them, it was their way of caring and showing that I am now a part of their family. They do seem to think of their colleagues as an extension of their family. When one of my colleagues said her aunt was ill, everyone trooped over to the hospital at lunch break and everyone also addressed her as 'aunt' though some were meeting her for the first time! There are a lot of activities - socialising, sports etc that they do together. Believe me when I say everybody knows everything about everyone! A couple of months ago when I was in Singapore, I popped in to visit the office. I rang the bell at the reception counter and got a scolding for being so formal. As family, I should have just walked in. My ex-supervisor really looked insulted that I rang the bell! This is not unusual in any part of Asia. I would not say that I am fully comfortable with this but it has its moments. Its sort of like being a part of a big noisy family and having moments when you wish you were an only child!
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Post by Lucy on Feb 18, 2008 11:50:38 GMT -5
Sheila, that sounds so sweet. I'm a private person and come from a small family, so I'm sure it would get on my nerves, but it really is nice that they all went to see "aunt" in the hospital and that they are so inclusive. That's one thing I always notice about, for example, Jane Austen novels. No one is excluded from outings and parties; if you're a resident or a visitor in the neighborhood (and of the same social class), you're invited, even if you don't like each other. It's just the done thing. There is something to be said for observing such formalities.
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Post by pilseung on Feb 18, 2008 16:08:11 GMT -5
sheila
I've stayed in Singapore for some time as well and am also half asian.You're right,people really want to know stuff about you but I found they werent so forthcoming about their own personal life.Though nobody knew it from my reactions and my looks,I understand several chinese dialects,the malay language as well as hindi.I found people were quite prone to gossiping behind each others back,especially if it wasnt something pleasant.I found Singaporeans werent shy to speak in their local dialects in front of foreigners coz they thought they werent understood.So I found out quite alot about many people without giving it away that I understood what was being said.It would have been far too embarassing all round if they realized I could speak their languages!!
Addressing your friends' parents as Auntie or Uncle from the first meeting is a Chinese custom in Sigapore and Malaysia.As well as asking one's relatives to eat first(amongst the more traditional families) in descending order(ie,grandparents,parents,uncles,aunts,etc from the oldest to the last person who is older than yourself) BEFORE you actually begin eating yourself at all meals.I found this rather nice and respectful.
Lucy
I went to boarding school in England,so I can truthfully tell you what happened in Jane Austen novels only happens in the remotest of villages nowadays.THO' amongst the presentday Lords and Earls and bigtime landowners(some of my old school mates),ie those of higher social standings,they do include neighbors,friends and foes alike at social events.This tends to be their general belief that ONE SHOULD BE CLOSE TO FRIENDS BUT even CLOSER TO ONE'S ENEMIES.Sad huh?
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sheila
Senior Addict
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Post by sheila on Feb 18, 2008 19:59:48 GMT -5
Wow, Pilseung, we have a lot in common I understand several Chinese dialects though I find it hard to speak them (can't roll the tongue the way it should and can't speak different tones in Chinese!). I speak and write Malay (Bahasa Indonesia and Bahasa Malaysia) and speak Hindi as well. My written Korean is good but spoken is shaky. Generally, I like Singapore. I found it a much more enjoyable place to live in than say Malaysia, Hong Kong and China. I spent two years in India and I found the Indians who would speak their own language in the company of others and made snide jokes thinking the foreigner doesn't understand what is going on. When I visited the homes of my Indian friends, I was told to address their parents as "Uncle", "Aunt" and not "Mr / Mrs XXX". I lived in Perth for awhile too and the Australian kids were calling all everyone "Aunt". Of course, the Asian population in Perth is larger than in other parts of Australia. The practice of addressing seniors as "Uncle" and "Aunt' is also common in Indonesia. I think it is human nature to gossip. This is common too among my American colleagues here. Some of whom can't even bother to say "good morning" when they see you face-to-face but have plenty to say behind your back. In an open office, sound carries so sometimes I wonder if this 'behind your back' is really all that behind, know what I mean! I guess where ever we are, be it country, school or social setting, even 'holy' places, there are always good people and the not-so-good (I wouldn't say 'bad' as I find there are only a few really 'bad' people out there and lets hope we don't come across them).
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Post by soapygrams on Feb 19, 2008 0:13:24 GMT -5
I have to laugh because addressing elders as "Aunt" and "Uncle" was the way I was taught - I'm an elder - my parentage is Irish-Pawnee-Lakota- German. All of the children were taught to address the elders whether family or not, as aunt and uncle. It came as quite a shock some years later when I discovered that Uncle John and Aunt Dorothy were NOT BLOOD RELATIVES - LOL - That custom seems to have died out in our family. Mostly now it's Mr. & Mrs. I think I like the aunt and uncle better - is just seems a much warmer way to speak to those folks who are older close friends of the family. Just my opinion, which of course, is prejudiced due to my upbringing. ;D
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Post by brooklyn on Feb 19, 2008 0:53:13 GMT -5
Thanks so much for your replies. That's a good point about cultural differences but to work in an environment like that would take me some time to get used to, even years lol. I envy you who have stayed in an Asian country before, I only know Jamaica besides America.
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sheila
Senior Addict
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Post by sheila on Feb 19, 2008 1:11:24 GMT -5
Soapy, I agree The world somehow seem a smaller and friendlier place when we can address elders as "Aunt" and "Uncle". Your parentage reminded me of my first crush. He's Irish-Pawnee-Korean and sooo soo cute This is a nice thread, brings back lotsa good memories
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Post by Lucy on Feb 19, 2008 13:37:04 GMT -5
Hey, I'm Italian-Irish-American, and I had a pair of "uncles," "Uncle Ronnie" and "Uncle Julio," who were, respectively, black and Hispanic. They were my dad's coworkers and always visited together (not a couple, though). What a nice pair of guys. I wonder whatever happened to them.
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Post by kumbis16 on Feb 19, 2008 15:44:09 GMT -5
Haha funny I'm 100% african and we do the same thing. Anybody who's older than me is my aunt or uncle. My father's brothers and best friends are my fathers all the elders are my grandparents and everybody else is my cousin. You're right Soapy it's much nicer and you end up having a big'ole happy family. Mr and Mrs are only used in offices and schools.
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Post by puppy on Feb 20, 2008 10:15:33 GMT -5
irish, African, Pawnee! What a diverse board this is. Has a survey ever been done of our various cultures and ethnicity? It would be interesting to me to know my fellow fans by more than location and gender but not to others maybe. Besides, some prefer to be anonymous which is understandable.
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Post by brooklyn on Feb 21, 2008 1:16:29 GMT -5
Puppy, I wanted to do that as a thread but I dunno lol. I'm Jamaican myself, Jamaican-Asian: Chinese/Korean mix.
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sheila
Senior Addict
Posts: 297
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Post by sheila on Feb 21, 2008 20:12:28 GMT -5
We're a cyber UN ... cool
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