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Post by panther on May 22, 2005 19:54:08 GMT -5
i love the direction on this show. i thought the scene where jae-min's wife takes apart her face in the puzzel (sp?) was sad. its like she knows she wont last long. when he went into the bathroom and cried you saw how tired and hurt he was. i also like this scene when in young's grandfather came home and he saw the ghost of his daughter standing at the gate.
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Post by Lucy on May 23, 2005 10:11:03 GMT -5
Not really mushy; he just took her there so he could swear to her "before God" that he was serious. And of course we all know that even the faithful realize that God only exists in churches. Outside of a church building proper, you're on your own. (sarcasm)
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Post by Soju on May 23, 2005 11:36:21 GMT -5
Those little country churches are almost as popular a hangout as the banks of the Han River
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Post by BungalowDweller on May 28, 2005 16:10:36 GMT -5
Yeah, I'm glad she's portrayed more realistically but still feel bad for Himchan's dad. I mean it's like she knows she got a raw deal and is really angry about it, but taking it out on her husband isn't going to help her. Cancer is an incideous thing. I watched my father die of cancer when I was 13 years old. (My mom had died suddenly 10 months before so my siblings and I were on our own.) I can tell you that the pain of cancer makes some people very mean. And I mean MEAN. After my father died after an excrutiating 10 months of hell, the doctor told us that the physical pain alone was enough to kill him--he didn't know how my father held on. (I knew; he didn't want to leave 4 kids orphaned, which is what happened.) Cancer left my formerly loving father like a fiend. His personality totally changed and he was unbelievably cruel. He'd say the craziest stuff. For years I thought it was just him--then I read about similar accounts. The portrayal is heart-wrenching, and very real to me.
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Post by TheBo on May 28, 2005 22:46:19 GMT -5
I'm so sorry about your parents, BD. It must still be painful for you to recall those times, especially as it happened when you were so young. People who are in dreadful pain do change, horribly, and it's so difficult for their loved ones, especially children. I'm glad you came to an understanding of what happened to him, it seems from your post that it helped make you feel a little better about him and what he was trying to do.
Bo
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Post by galacticchick on Jun 8, 2005 9:28:58 GMT -5
Just now read your post, BD. I'm sorry that you had to suffer such a devastating blow (2 actually) so early on in your life. I guess this sheds a different POV with regards to what happened yesterday. Himchan's mom was so happy, she had a good memory to take with her and hadn't felt pain for the past two days, it must really be an unbelievable pain for her to try and suicide herself. Aigu! There is just no easy solution to this. If she were to have accomplished her goal, Himchan and son would have suffered, because she was saved the mom will have to continue to endure pain.
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Post by Lucy on Jun 8, 2005 10:45:03 GMT -5
Yes, BD, I echo what the others have said. That's really tragic, and must have been nearly impossible to bear at the time. You really made it through the fire. I don't know how I missed your message for over a week. Maybe it just showed up? In this show's situation right now I feel sorriest for her. (what I say is not a reflection on any real-life situation, btw.) If her pain is so horrible, and she wants to go while she's happy, I think he should have let her go. On the other hand, he didn't know her reasoning; all he knew was she was bleeding to death in their bathtub. Naturally, he thought he had to save her. But now that she's still alive, what did he save her for? An assuredly awful, painful death. This is terrible. But, bearing in mind what BD said about the pain and how it transforms a person, I think that Jae-min has no idea. If he did, he wouldn't have put it in terms of, "Don't you care about me and Him-chan? What about us?" I mean, she knows she's going to die no matter what; does she have to go through more hell just because he's not ready to let her go yet? Yes, there are moral questions depending on how you feel about suicide, but I'm not considering that.
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Post by lizlib on Jun 8, 2005 16:37:14 GMT -5
He's just been wonderful in everything. In OMR he took so much crap from mean grannie and still maintained such dignity. In So This Is Love - he also maintained the dignity of the character. I think he is a superb actor. I just love him and want to know where to find someone like him, w/o having to be sick to do it!
Lizlib
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Post by lizlib on Jun 8, 2005 16:43:08 GMT -5
I think all the scenes in this story line are going to be gut wrenching since we have a pretty good idea of what is going to happen. He is trying to be so strong for his wife, whom he loves, and yet there is no one he can really turn to for support. He really does not want to burden her, even though I think the character had finally reached a small breaking point when he asked if she thought of him and their child. But it was,I think, such a terribly normal, sad thing to do. I think I reallyget into these scenes with him and his wife - they seem to be written and acted with such care and tenderness and quiet strength.
Lizlib
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Post by Lucy on Jun 8, 2005 17:25:47 GMT -5
Lizlib, I adore him, too. Both of those characters have been wonderful. His looks are perfect for it, too. He's got those dark, sparkly eyes and a slightly pained, restrained expression that shows that he's trying to bear up. I like the shape of his eyes, too; they're just like almonds or diamonds or something. Poor little Min-jae-min! You're probably right about this. He was only thinking about how he would miss her, which I can understand.
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Post by ginnycat5 on Jun 8, 2005 17:34:52 GMT -5
Why can't the poor suffering woman be prescribed enough painkillers to at least lower the pain level? can't it be done for pancreatic cancer? My mother was given morphine drops under her tongue. I think some doctors may be in fear of anti-drug zealots, but mercy should take precedence.
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Post by BAE on Jun 8, 2005 19:17:59 GMT -5
i think they can take painkillers, but maybe she doesn't want to.... she scares me a little. I can understand her depression, but to be that sucicidal?
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Post by BungalowDweller on Jun 8, 2005 19:31:42 GMT -5
On the other hand, he didn't know her reasoning; all he knew was she was bleeding to death in their bathtub. Naturally, he thought he had to save her. But now that she's still alive, what did he save her for? An assuredly awful, painful death. This is terrible. But, bearing in mind what BD said about the pain and how it transforms a person, I think that Jae-min has no idea. If he did, he wouldn't have put it in terms of, "Don't you care about me and Him-chan? What about us?" I mean, she knows she's going to die no matter what; does she have to go through more hell just because he's not ready to let her go yet? There are so many profound issues you've brought up. There is no way for any mentally healthy person to truly "understand" what is in the mind of someone attempting suicide. After my father died,the doctor said that he didn't know how my father was able to withstand the pain and that people can actually die from the trauma brought about by pain itself. Years later I met a Russian MD who emigrated from the USSR. His specialty was the re-attachment of limbs torn off by accidents. He claimed, at the time, that he was the first Medical researcher to posit a medical definition of pain. It was to be published in some medical journal here in the US. I remember him telling me that his definition and his work about the concept of pain was so cutting edge that the New England Journal of Medicine editorial staff could not agree to print his research (controversial) so it was published elsewhere. I think that Jae-Min's response is deeply authentic. When cancer comes on the scene--quite literally the entire family is sick and lives with the disease. He wants and needs to prepare for her death. If she had committed suicide, how would he ever explain that to his baby? How much more palatable to tell the child that Momma died of illness rather than Momma killed herself. Suicide is adding trauma upon trauma. The most that Jae-Min can hope is to help his wife to die well,and in as much comfort as can be provided by modern medicine. Very moving, and very real.
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Post by galacticchick on Jun 15, 2005 9:21:10 GMT -5
Oh no, judging by the previews it looks like we will be crying in the next couple of days. I saw Jaemin bawling.
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Post by Lucy on Jun 15, 2005 10:19:42 GMT -5
On the other hand, he didn't know her reasoning; all he knew was she was bleeding to death in their bathtub. Naturally, he thought he had to save her. But now that she's still alive, what did he save her for? An assuredly awful, painful death. This is terrible. But, bearing in mind what BD said about the pain and how it transforms a person, I think that Jae-min has no idea. If he did, he wouldn't have put it in terms of, "Don't you care about me and Him-chan? What about us?" I mean, she knows she's going to die no matter what; does she have to go through more hell just because he's not ready to let her go yet? There are so many profound issues you've brought up. There is no way for any mentally healthy person to truly "understand" what is in the mind of someone attempting suicide. After my father died,the doctor said that he didn't know how my father was able to withstand the pain and that people can actually die from the trauma brought about by pain itself. Years later I met a Russian MD who emigrated from the USSR. His specialty was the re-attachment of limbs torn off by accidents. He claimed, at the time, that he was the first Medical researcher to posit a medical definition of pain. It was to be published in some medical journal here in the US. I remember him telling me that his definition and his work about the concept of pain was so cutting edge that the New England Journal of Medicine editorial staff could not agree to print his research (controversial) so it was published elsewhere. I think that Jae-Min's response is deeply authentic. When cancer comes on the scene--quite literally the entire family is sick and lives with the disease. He wants and needs to prepare for her death. If she had committed suicide, how would he ever explain that to his baby? How much more palatable to tell the child that Momma died of illness rather than Momma killed herself. Suicide is adding trauma upon trauma. The most that Jae-Min can hope is to help his wife to die well,and in as much comfort as can be provided by modern medicine. Very moving, and very real. Your response is interesting and moving, bungalowdweller. The show's handling of this does strike me as very real. I would never blame Jae-min for how he feels, but my sympathy in terms of this drama lies primarily with her. I think you are very right when you say most people truly cannot understand someone who's suicidal. In my opinion, no one could do it for any reason less compelling than that they can't stand to be alive anymore--it couldn't be self-indulgence or spitefulness or weakness or whatever. It's got to be intolerable mental pain or physical pain. Jae-min's wife, at that point, wasn't thinking of him or her baby. It's odd how a couple of times Jae-min has said that he hopes she will find inner peace, but every time she tells him she knows she's dying, he tells her not to think that way. I don't know how he thinks she is going to come to terms with death if he won't support her in processing it. It's just a sad situation all round. I'd be interested to hear more about this medical definition of pain and whatever happened with the publication. Why was it controversial? On a much lighter note, he looked incredibly cute last night. He does "worried" very well! Li'l shoebutton eyes.
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