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Post by moreshige unlogged on Apr 6, 2005 11:34:58 GMT -5
Let's go half-sie, but you put down the downpayment. True. But in the korean-american context, the guy wouldn't be bald or pudgy or wimpy, as Lucy would put it. He would be "perfect" in every other woman's book except for korean-american women. And don't get me worng, I'm sure this happens the other way around too. It's just that I really believe that korean tastes and standards for anything whether in education, products, and relationships are placed too high or unrealistic. I think it's sort of sad because if a Harvard education and that 2 million dollar house is perfection, at least they're attainable. But in relationships there is no such thing as a perfect person and you'd be dissapointed most of the time. "Jot ta" means "is nice" or " like". So "Ha-bud-du jot ta" means "I like Harvard" or "Harvard's nice!" Hmmm. This is interesting. I have to clarify or re-emphasize the story I told you before. The senario or assumption I was talking about is that the guy and girl aren't in a relationship in the first place. And the girl absolutely loves him in every way except that he was divorced. Wheras the situation that you described, Bo, is that the guy was already rejected after a failed relationship. Now, I agree with you on that it's quite often the person who was rejected can't understand why they were rejected in the first because they may too blind to their own faults. I'm talking about women or men who absolutely love and like (in their own words) each other but they can't reconcile their view of what's a perfect man/woman with the person right in front of them. And to tie this with the drama, my understanding with Yoon-sik and Ji-yeon is that they're not in a relationship.
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Post by moreshige on Apr 6, 2005 11:54:19 GMT -5
Okay. I just want you to post that guy's vital stats here, along with his phone number, because I know a lot of women here (Lucy?) who would love to give him an opportunity to be perfect. In my many rounds of education, I've had the opportunity to talk with married Korean, Japanese and Chinese women, and the biggest complaint I've heard is that the husband is too "[substitute culture here]"--he's old-fashioned. He's too stuck in the vibe where the man is the man (translation--no help at home, no caring for children) and the woman is the woman (she does all the housework and anything else he doesn't feel like dealing with, but oh, she's a modern woman so she has a job). He's the "perfect" Japanese/Korean/Chinese man. And why not? It works out great for him, why should he change? I forget who was posting on these boards about her father, who was Korean, and mother, who was American born, who were divorced, and how she never understood her father until she went to Korea to visit relatives there. I'm hopeful that the repeal of hoju will cause a cultural shift in Korea itself, to bring women more on an even keel with men, but that has not really happened here, in spite of all our advances in women's rights. Darn. Some jerk is kicking out my soapbox. Bo Yes, I agree with you. But you have to consider asian couples who are both raised or born here and you'll see less of what you're talking about. I have friends who are a generation removed from our parents from korea who are happily married and don't have the strict gender role problems you speak of. In fact for example, a few of the guys even like to cook for the family. But of course they like all couples have other types of problems. ps. that person who talked about her divorvced american born mother and korean father is talking about the past generation unless at most she's 10 years old. My generation (american raised or american born) 20's to late 30's have a different mindset although some of us still inherit our parents' thinking. I'm in my early thirties and I don't feel at all that the woman should do the house chores and only be a housewife. I actually want her to have a career and I also want to be directly involved with raising our children.
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Post by TheBo on Apr 6, 2005 12:44:22 GMT -5
I'm in my early thirties and I don't feel at all that the woman should do the house chores and only be a housewife. I actually want her to have a career and I also want to be directly involved with raising our children. Moreshige! Will you marry Lucy?! ;D
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Post by Lucy on Apr 6, 2005 12:53:35 GMT -5
Actually, that wasn't the situation with these people, either. They had other problems that had to do with how to communicate and understanding other stuff about where the other person was "coming from." That is really interesting! You're right, we misunderstood. And it's fascinating that you see our WML "couple" as not being in a relationship (and I trust your perception as being accurate for where they are right now, BTW), whereas I'm seeing them as not realizing that they are in a relationship. According to the parallels with the situation you described your friend being in, they are in fact not in a relationship because they just don't think of each other that way. Yet.
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Post by Lucy on Apr 6, 2005 13:00:49 GMT -5
Moreshige! Will you marry Lucy?! ;D Enough, you yenta.
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Post by TheBo on Apr 6, 2005 13:18:35 GMT -5
Enough, you yenta. Whaaaat? I couldn't ask him to marry me--Bob would be mad. Anyway, I already disowned him to you over on the YSS tangents board because he called me a yokel. Indirectly. Like, in my imagination. Bo PS - Okay, after all that circumlocution I started above in this thread (sorry), I guess my final word is, it worked out great between BmB and me, so I guess it could work out great between Yoon-sik and Ji-eun, because we're just like them (but not Korean).
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Post by Lucyunlogged on Apr 6, 2005 13:44:35 GMT -5
Whaaaat? I couldn't ask him to marry me--Bob would be mad. Anyway, I already disowned him to you over on the YSS tangents board because he called me a yokel. Indirectly. Like, in my imagination. Bo PS - Okay, after all that circumlocution I started above in this thread (sorry), I guess my final word is, it worked out great between BmB and me, so I guess it could work out great between Yoon-sik and Ji-eun, because we're just like them (but not Korean). A yokel! LOL. I don't frequent that board. Maybe he was just role-playing or something? I'm interested in the Ballad of Bo and Bob. Are you the curmudgeonly but adorable intellectual and he's the goofy but adorable childlike healthcare professional?
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Post by TheBo on Apr 6, 2005 14:21:07 GMT -5
...I'm interested in the Ballad of Bo and Bob. Are you the curmudgeonly but adorable intellectual and he's the goofy but adorable childlike healthcare professional? YAH! That's what I said. Only instead of cute little doggies, he works all day with crazy people. What's worse, you should see the patients. Er, I'm not sure I fit the "adorable" mold... Bo
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Post by moreshige on Apr 6, 2005 18:47:23 GMT -5
Moreshige! Will you marry Lucy?! ;D LOL ;D Of course! You just set the date! But.....shouldn't we get her permission first?
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Post by TheBo on Apr 7, 2005 9:21:02 GMT -5
...But.....shouldn't we get her permission first? I'm sorry, the offer was withdrawn yesterday. And I got called a yenta, in the bargain. But you can still marry that hill girl. I heard she's from One Tree Hill. Or was it Beverly Hill? Hamburger Hill? Bo
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Post by Lucy on Apr 7, 2005 10:05:23 GMT -5
LOL ;D Of course! You just set the date! But.....shouldn't we get her permission first? OK, Moreshige, since Bo thinks it's a good idea. I hope you like older women.
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Post by moreshige on Apr 7, 2005 20:02:14 GMT -5
OK, Moreshige, since Bo thinks it's a good idea. I hope you like older women. The only way for you to be older than me is for you to be in your mid-thirties and above. It's almost impossible, I tell ya.
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Post by moreshige on Apr 7, 2005 20:09:00 GMT -5
Whaaaat? I couldn't ask him to marry me--Bob would be mad. Anyway, I already disowned him to you over on the YSS tangents board because he called me a yokel. Indirectly. Like, in my imagination. Bo PS - Okay, after all that circumlocution I started above in this thread (sorry), I guess my final word is, it worked out great between BmB and me, so I guess it could work out great between Yoon-sik and Ji-eun, because we're just like them (but not Korean). Well, with that way of indirect thinking since I called my mom and grandparents...yokels, ahem. That means I'm more than half a yokel. Bob and Bo sounds so right together. I know a gal whose name sounds like my korean name too. Maybe I should ask her out if Lucy's off-limits.
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Post by Lucy on Apr 8, 2005 9:51:00 GMT -5
Bob and Bo sounds so right together. I know a gal whose name sounds like my korean name too. Maybe I should ask her out if Lucy's off-limits. *sigh* I think you'd better, moreshige--I do indeed fit the profile you mentioned two messages above. I will still come to your wedding to "Maureen-shige" (just guessing at what her name might be, lol), though.
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Post by TheBo on Apr 8, 2005 10:58:31 GMT -5
... I will still come to your wedding to "Maureen-shige" (just guessing at what her name might be, lol), though. How is Moreshige pronounced, by the way? I notice that when I hear names pronounced on the dramas, they hardly ever sound like what I think they'll sound like. To carry out this delusional train of thought further, Lucy will have to look for someone named Lukie. Poor galacticchick, though. Bo (of "BoBob")
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