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Post by galacticchick on Nov 12, 2003 14:08:47 GMT -5
I was kind of ticked off by JY telling JM that SM is his father. I'm kind of wondering if she really did tell him for his sake, or rather to aliveate her "guilty" conscience (although why she would or should feel guilty I don't know, I just couldn't find a better word for it)  . When she started off her confession to him he replied that he already knew his real daddy wasn't in heaven, and I honestly believe that until he got older she should have left it at that. It seemed like he really didn't want to talk about the subject. He wasn't even really paying attention when she was telling him all these things, he was more interested in the ants on the floor. And then JM's face when he held YJ, he looked scared, uneasy; like he's afraid that knowing who his real father is will hurt his relationship with the only father he knows: YJ. I know that their excuse is WK would probably tell JM anyway but that could be one of the conditions that could be set for him to be able to see JM. If you guys saw the flashbacks of past episodes, SM was a total and utter jerk to JY and her family, and if I were JY, I would not have as many considerations with SM and his father as she does. I'm actually getting annoyed with the two main characters for being so passive.  |
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Post by nsheldon on Nov 12, 2003 15:46:05 GMT -5
WK had already said things to Ji-min so I believe JY just wanted to tell Ji-min in her own words. Didn't want that old coot going crazy in front of her son. My belief is, a child can handle anything you tell them. Being adopted; having a different father, etc. Children adapt. I think it was right for him to know & I think it was right for the person to tell him would be his mother. Better her than WK. Ji-min is very resentful towards JY & SM now. But you read about these adults that find out they were adopted or whatever & they just cannot emotionally handle it. Kids get over things more easily than adults do....
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Post by petirrojo on Nov 13, 2003 10:14:58 GMT -5
Yes, if children are told difficult truths in a sensitive, open, and discreet manner, and then given a period of care and attention afterwards to make sure that they've absorbed the information carefully, they will certainly thrive and adapt.
I might have chosen different tactics in telling JM about his father, where I JY (for example, how he'd left my life for many years and suddenly reappeared, and how I wanted to give JM time to get to know him first before telling him his father's true identity...), but I would definitely have told him. I think it's better coming from her than YJ (JM might have felt that this was a form of rejection), and she couldn't count on WK to keep his trap shut. He's clearly unbalanced by recent events and is sure to tell JM even more, but in the most upsetting fashion.
Is JY passive? Well, she lives in a country with a different set of rules concerning paternal rights, so perhaps she's a reflection of her culture, and perhaps we shouldn't judge her so harshly.
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Post by galacticchick on Nov 13, 2003 11:57:41 GMT -5
This is good. At first I was reluctant to post this topic, but it’s interesting to hear other people’s insight to help one form a more intelligent opinion for oneself.
Maybe what upset me the most about this whole JY/JM/SM situation is that it struck so close to home: when I was a little bit older than what JM is supposed to be, I was told I had a half-sister and my life has never been the same since. I was the same as JM, very resentful and so angry, hurt and confused that I wish to this day that I would have been kept in the dark about that. And I could relate to JM, about how he thought for all of his young life that his father was dead, how I thought that I was an only daughter and then one day your find out that it isn’t true. That’s just me though.
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Post by ShoNuff on Nov 13, 2003 22:38:06 GMT -5
What if JY had asked JM if somebody like nice uncle was his real dad would that be a good thing or a bad thing? I think that she could have possibly planted a few seeds and gently led JM along he might have taken it a little smoother. You never know how kids are going to take stuff.
ShoNuff
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Post by nsheldon on Nov 14, 2003 9:28:59 GMT -5
Hmm, I was told at an early age that I had 'other' siblings by my bio father. But I was raised by a step-father & had several siblings in the home as well. We all just accepted the fact. Never had contact with my bio father's other family. But it's clear that people take things to heart in different ways. I totally agree w/ShoNuff that it could have been done more slowly but seems JY really wanted to be the one to tell him since WK is being so unpredictable... No telling what that ol' gramps will say to Ji-min...
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Post by JadeEyes on Nov 15, 2003 13:23:51 GMT -5
All things being equal, I guess I agree w/ this assessment. It would have been preferrable, IMO, to wait until JM was older to break the news to him...when he's mature enough to make sense of what this means and to process it better emotionally and intellectually.
But given that JY and YJ thought WK was anxious to tell JM all about him and SM, and had no idea the situation had changed (w/ WK backing off now that he knows about his son's grave condition), I can see why they concluded it was imperative he hear the truth from his mother before WK hunted him down again and foisted his version of things on the child. When JY spoke to WK only days earlier, he didn't know of SM at the time and was obsessed w/ seeing JM and telling him who he is. JY promised him he could meet JM and talk to him about things as soon as she had filled JM in herself on his biological family.
Neither of them knew everything had changed, and even though WK has not behaved at all honorably, JY and YJ are people of considerable honor and would always feel a duty to honor a promise....even to a jerk who didn't deserve it.
Unfortunately it backfired. JM couldn't handle this piece of information and consequently it interferred w/ whatever positive encounters SM might have had w/ his son in the short time left to him, and it turned out telling him was unnecessary at this time, as WK backed off as soon as he knew about SM.
Such is life. It would all be a lot easier if we were omnipotent.
Jade
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. When she started off her confession to him he replied that he already knew his real daddy wasn't in heaven, and I honestly believe that until he got older she should have left it at that. It seemed like he really didn't want to talk about the subject.
