Forgotten versus Forgiven

[petirrojo]

Someone else posted something about how TY can hold a grudge and perhaps JY shouldn't be forgiving SM because she'd promised her mother she never would (or something to this affect). This got me thinking about some of the subtleties herein.

For example, last night TY tells JY that he'll never forgive SM for what he'd done to JY (after the flashbacks) and his sister tells him that she's "forgotten" what SM has done to her, though not necessarily "forgiven" him. I thought that this was an interesting distinction. I took it to mean that she's not going to obsess over what he did to her (particularly as she ended up with a totally wonderful man), but she's not exactly going to forgive him. Or has she? She's told SM too that she's forgotten his wrongs, but that's not necessarily the same as forgiving him. Did he see it as forgiveness, or did he "read between the lines" and understand what she was saying?

Too deep for me!

[JadeEyes]

I too noticed the distinction and wondered about it as well.

My best guess is that to forgive and to forget a wrong done to you is a Korean expression that has something to do w/ the idea that to "forget" a sin against you is that you no longer spend time thinking about it anymore, that you've put it out of your mind easily, that you've moved on and that if you do happen to think of it, it no longer gives you hurt and pain and anger as it once did.

A lot of people in Western culture might say that is what forgiving is, and I'm not sure exactly how that differs from the concept of forgiveness in Korean culture. But maybe it has something to do w/ absolving that person of wrong-doing, which JY may never feel she'll be able to do w/ SM. But as badly as he treated her once, he really did her a favor. Had she married him, I don't think she'd be anywhere near as happy as she is. She has a wonderful husband who adores her and is singularly devoted to her. He's a much, much nicer and more decent man than SM and she's very lucky to have him. SM gave her a beautiful child too.

Ironic how, after the pain SM put her through in pursuit of power and money, he ended w/ so little and now his life is almost at an end, while JY got everything she could want...a wonderful, devoted husband (who's also wealthy), a beautiful home, a beautiful child and another on the way, a successful business and loving friends and family.

I guess it's really true what they say: be careful what you wish for.

Jade

[jenny]

Someone else posted something about how TY can hold a grudge and perhaps JY shouldn't be forgiving SM because she'd promised her mother she never would (or something to this affect).

That someone was me! I didn't really mean that JY shouldn't forgive SM. I can understand how she could forget how SM hurt her, since she is so happy with YJ and Jimin, but how can you forget how someone made your mama so upset it gave her a heart attack? I guess with only 4 episodes left they need to tie up all the loose storylines, so there isn't much time for JY to avenge her mother's death. I'll forgive 'em, this final week is the best ending I've seen in any Korean drama!